Unknown Missed Opportunity

A long time ago, I think it was 1994, I had just moved to a new town, and I was in a small bar dancing to a rocking local band. Across the stage, there was a really attractive brunette that I was trying to make eye contact with, but she just wasn't looking over my way.

That's when I noticed that a few dudes were crowding the space behind me. At the time I didn't realize they were chicken-hawking me, so I said to one of them that got too close, "wow there's some hot chicks in here, huh."

"Yeah, that's if you like chicks," he replied, and with that they all laughed and made grab-and-thrust fucking motions toward me. Immediately I realized what was going on, and moved away to another part of the bar. They could tell I was flustered and kept laughing and pointing at me, high-fiving each other, obviously psyched that they had gotten-to a straight guy. Being the butt of their joke and the butt of their desires made me feel disrespected, so I left the bar altogether. I wasn't prepared to be hit on by a bunch of obnoxious gay guys, I guess.

A college friend lived in town, she and I were pretty good friends and hung out pretty frequently. We had fooled around in college, but things were strictly platonic now. The next time I saw her, I told her about the incident at the bar. She laughed because it really was funny, and sympathized with my discomfort a bit. She also confided in me that she had always thought I was gay. She was bisexual and claimed to have a pretty accurate gaydar. She said there were other guys in my class year that she had predicted to be gay, that they had indeed come out afterward. She said I was the only one that she was wrong about.

I assured her that I wasn't gay, but in the back of my mind I still knew that I wasn't exactly sure of it. I never told her about any of the urges that I really did have in college, and to this day I don't know if my denials were even convincing to her. Could she really have seen that flicker of gay in me? It made me feel uncomfortable, because at the time I was in such a solid state of denial about my sexuality.

It's a shame, too. Aside from the fact that the guy who said that to me that night looked like Tony Little - CREEPY! - I might have had more fun in that situation. I might have even gotten to get some free drinks, played these guys out a bit, maybe even taken one of them home. Problem was I was too uptight to face my own gayness and just relax and have a bit of fun with it.

It was a lost opportunity and I didn't even know it.

HNT Again!

Starting to look forward to this every week. Anyone got some good HNT that I should know about?

Yeah So I Like Small Tits

I just don't understand the fascination in our society with large breasts. Sure large breasts are great, but small ones are better. Way better. I can't say I know everything about 'em, but personal experience has indicated that small tits have greater sensitivity, a greater contrast of shape and size when aroused. Little tits are a treasured and delicate treat, particularly now that they have become so underappreciated and rare, especially in straight porn where it seems every starlet has silicone implants.

If I was starting a relationship with a woman with fake tits, it would immediately be an irreconcilable difference. I'm just not into it, anymore than I'd be into a guy with pectoral implants or collagen lips. The truth is that natural beauty is best, and the thought of fake, hard bags under someone's skin makes my dick shrivel up and run for cover. Viagra wouldn't even help.

It is a shame that women get so bombarded with images of "the ideal woman" day in and day out, that they soon start to devalue their own natural breasts. After all, if nearly every famous woman has fake tits, then it stands to reason that you need them to be famous, and since you have to be pretty to be famous, you must have to have fake tits to be pretty.

Bullshit!

Augmented breasts generally bolster a manufactured self worth. I once happened to overhear a conversation at a wedding, a plastic surgeon's wife was talking to a group of about ten female friends. She told them that her augmentation made her feel more confident, more womanly, more sexy. Her friends all chimed in accord. After hearing this I honestly felt disturbed. Was that whole group of gorgeous women really that shallow? I wondered how it couldn't be obvious that her REAL tits were inherently more womanly than twin bags of liquid plastic? How can a silicone balloon possibly be more feminine than a real breast? It didn't and still makes no fucking sense to me whatsoever.

Now, I don't want to insult anyone out there with fake tits. Some women may have no choice. But you ought to know that men make fun of fake breasts and the guys that date them. I seriously don't know of one man who takes fake tits seriously. When I'm at the strip club, for instance, I take extra time to find the only girl who hasn't gone and ruined a perfectly perky pair tits with a scalpel and plastic inserts. I'll tell her too, "you've got the best tits in the place, you're a fucking goddess. All these balloon bags have nothing on you."

So, yes, I do prefer small tits. A cups, B cups, even the "mosquito bite" tits. Put me in a room with ten attractive women and let me choose one, I'll pick the one with the smallest breasts. It's that simple. I just don't know where this big breast fascination came from and why women feel they have to surgically augment themselves to be beautiful. It's a mammagraphic crime, a cruel joke taken out on us guys who really do like small tops, despite what society tries to force down our women's proverbial throats.

If there are any women out there considering breast implants, please hear my plea. It's totally gross, not sexy or attractive, and accentuates nothing but your low self esteem. You may think that there are no men out there who'd like your tiny chest just the way it is, but I can tell you that based on experience, small breasts rule!

Save your money. Keep 'em real. Let's put an end to this unhealthy body image and admire all women for the breast size they have, not the size they think they have been told that they should have. Natural is always better than artificial anyway. Think about it.

OBSERVATION: A woman's brain and breasts are the only parts of her body you can't say are small without pissing her off.

New Pornos Reviewed

I got my pornos that I ordered about 10 days ago. I'm pretty happy with them.

Leather Half Off is probably my favorite of the three, with lots of hot guys in black leather playing with each other in various scenarios. No bondage or S&M, just leather on skin and guys touching, sucking and fucking. Very nice.

9 Inch Males is pretty decent, but some of the guys are not as well hung as the title would imply, so that was a little disappointing, to be honest. Have to watch this one a little longer and find my favorite scenes.

Secret Bisexual Stories has some hot guys and girls, though is your typical MMF video with largely similar scenes throughout. Just like all my other bisexual pornos, this one stars a bunch of hot Brazilians. There's some really hot chicks with nice small tits and hot men with big dicks, but reading subtitles kind of sucks when you've got your cock out and stroking to the scenes. Kudos to Brazilian culture and their open views of sexuality, though I have to start to wonder if there are any non-foreign bisexual XXX productions out there, because so far I haven't seen any.

Gay DVD Empire has the best prices and service I could find if anyone wants to check these vids out.

Fantasy Fulfillment Services

I talked to my friend more last week about me hiring her as a sex worker. Turns out she's been fantasizing too about what I might hire her to do, so we talked at length about it. And it was exciting! I told her most all of my ideas about what services I might need, and she had a few ideas too. It was funny because one of my requested services was to tie her up and have domain over her pussy for touch/feel, vibrator play, shaving, fisting, whatever my cock desires. Her idea was to tie me up. That wasn't on my list. It sounds good though, and I wouldn't mind paying for dominatrix services, but I have to admit that I'm more interested in a paid submissive.

We hadn't discussed price before, and considering she's a massage therapist and already commands quite an hourly wage, I figured that double her regular fee would be a good place to start. That was before I knew that she charges $75 - $100 an hour for massage! So already we're looking at an expensive fantasy.

In contrast, I know of a sex worker through a friend of mine, and she charges $150 for the whole night. Another friend of mine says he took a stripper home once and paid her $150 an hour for sex. So those seem like bargains compared to my friend's quote. Though when I think back to another friend's bachelor party this summer, I recall paying $150 for a six-song lap dance in the V.I.P. room. Foolish me didn't know that the V.I.P. room isn't where you get "extra" services, and it took that long of dry grinding for me to cum. So by that standard, $150 an hour is cheap!

We didn't make a decision about price, but merely put some figures out there to mull over. She is seeing someone right now, and although she told him that she is strictly non-monogamous, she says he still gets jealous (typical insecure male trying to take ownership of a pussy) and she needs to talk to him about it first. My thoughts are that it's a job and it's her personal business, but I still admire her honesty. Besides I wouldn't want to come between her and a good thing.

I hope we'll be able to come to an agreement, because I'd like to pay her for some sex play, but not sure I want to pay her for sex. I know that sounds weird, but since I've already had sex with her, somehow I feel strange about paying for something that I've gotten for free. It's all the other stuff, the fantasies that are beyond sex, that I want to pay her for. The scenarios and activities that are not normally associated with conventional sex. Like the massage therapist who breaks the rules and jerks me off, the naked yoga instructor, the paid submissive, etc.

Nice Jeans 1

Cock Project Defunct

I have no freaking discipline. About a month ago I posted an entry about a project I wanted to do: take a still shot of my cock every day for a year and then make a little 30 second short film. Well I realized today that I haven't taken a picture for over a month. It's clear I don't have the consistency and/or desire to keep up with it, so the project has been scrapped. Oh well.