I couldn't count on two hands all the times I've gotten blown off by women and all the ways they've managed to flake out and say without words the "no" that they must have meant to say when I asked them out. I've posted before on this blog about the negative effects that this type of deception has had on my attitude towards women and dating.
So the other night I was at one of my regular bar/restaurants and I noticed a woman working there again who I have not seen in a couple of years. Back then, she was the friend of my best friend's girlfriend, and she approached me one night to say hi. A little bit into the conversation I mentioned one of my favorite activities, snowshoeing, and she said she had never been. Seizing the opportunity, and knowing from her friend that she was single, I asked her if she'd like to go with me. "Yeah, that sounds fun," she said, and I got her phone number to get the date figured out and take this gorgeous woman up into the mountains for the beauty and serenity that only snowshoeing can bring. Only problem was, she must have meant, "oh you mean with you? Hell no!" because she never even had the courtesy to call me back.
So imagine my surprise to see her working at the place again, and it suddenly brought up the bitter memory of the subversive rejection that she callously dished out those few years ago. Our eyes met for a second and she seemed to recognize me, but she was sure to avoid me it seemed, making her way around the restaurant being sure to always have her back turned and to never walk past my table. Crazy thing was, that I realized at that moment that I had forgotten all about her. I couldn't even remember her name. So thankfully I was spared the embarrassment of having to talk to her, and she was spared the guilt of having to face up to her flakiness, but it definitely got me thinking.
I realized that in forgetting her altogether, I had been freed of the pain of the silent rejection she handed down those years ago. I had been able to toss her onto my forgotten pile, and seeing her again was difficult because it brought up all that residual pain of rejection. I wanted to flag her down and say, "hey how come you never called me back, bitch?" but I figured the sooner I could forget about her again the better.
So the other night I was at one of my regular bar/restaurants and I noticed a woman working there again who I have not seen in a couple of years. Back then, she was the friend of my best friend's girlfriend, and she approached me one night to say hi. A little bit into the conversation I mentioned one of my favorite activities, snowshoeing, and she said she had never been. Seizing the opportunity, and knowing from her friend that she was single, I asked her if she'd like to go with me. "Yeah, that sounds fun," she said, and I got her phone number to get the date figured out and take this gorgeous woman up into the mountains for the beauty and serenity that only snowshoeing can bring. Only problem was, she must have meant, "oh you mean with you? Hell no!" because she never even had the courtesy to call me back.
So imagine my surprise to see her working at the place again, and it suddenly brought up the bitter memory of the subversive rejection that she callously dished out those few years ago. Our eyes met for a second and she seemed to recognize me, but she was sure to avoid me it seemed, making her way around the restaurant being sure to always have her back turned and to never walk past my table. Crazy thing was, that I realized at that moment that I had forgotten all about her. I couldn't even remember her name. So thankfully I was spared the embarrassment of having to talk to her, and she was spared the guilt of having to face up to her flakiness, but it definitely got me thinking.
I realized that in forgetting her altogether, I had been freed of the pain of the silent rejection she handed down those years ago. I had been able to toss her onto my forgotten pile, and seeing her again was difficult because it brought up all that residual pain of rejection. I wanted to flag her down and say, "hey how come you never called me back, bitch?" but I figured the sooner I could forget about her again the better.
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