I was thinking more about misogyny and yesterday's post, and decided I had more to say to get my mind around this.
My bad luck with women has led to a total loss of faith in the female species. I keep telling myself that I can't blame all women for the heartache and pain cause by those in the past, and that I need to move on. But the problem is that my relationships with women have only gotten more fake, contrived, and more difficult to understand. Things have not gotten better as I've gotten older, which is contrary to my life philosophy. Life is supposed to improve. Relationships are supposed to grow from one to the next, only that hasn't been the case.
Seven years ago my heart was utterly destroyed by a woman whom I was madly in love with. Her callous, casual way of breaking it off really devalued what we had had together, from my perspective. She did not honor or respect our connection, and the pain from the way she left me has remained unhealed. After seven fucking years, I am still a shell of a man.
Since then I have been unable to secure so much as a second date, let alone have a deep and meaningful relationship to help steer me away from the despair that she left me in. Something to help restore my self confidence, and perhaps most importantly, restore my faith in women. Because from where I'm standing, looking back on this road I have traveled, it would be hard for me to believe any of them had a heart. And that leaves me in this ridiculous state of self-pity, desperately hoping some fantastic woman who truly cares about me will somehow come along, someone who will rescue me like on e-fucking-Harmony. But that is a pipe dream that I cannot continue.
So they see the bitterness and hatred, they see that I am jaded, and they must think, "ahh, no pussy for him." Then they might think to themselves that I objectify women once they see how desperate I am. And women do have this sixth sense for desperation, like dogs can smell fear, and as soon as she notices you staring at her cleavage, or catching a glimpse of other women in the room, she might call you a womanizer, a pig, or a jerk... or maybe she'll slap you, dump her drink over your head. Why not humiliate you? After all, it is her right.
Now this is where my misogynistic feelings really start to boil, when I realize that women objectify themselves, but then demonize men for reacting to it naturally. It is such a double edged sword, yet some men have learned to play the game masterfully. They get pussy by not acting like they want it. They get her to think getting laid was her idea. It's amazing. Only thing is I'm not that guy. That's too dishonest for me, too much of a charade. So instead I end up glancing too much, too often, or too long, at whatever irresistibly sexy part she's got out for display, and then I get placed squarely into the NO PUSSY ZONE.
It's like they're fishing without a hook. They'll tease me with the bait, but they don't really want to catch me. So I get no action once again, go to the strip club and then home to porn surf... and hey guess what, all I'm getting out of the deal is OBJECTS. Is there any question why women are objectified?
My bad luck with women has led to a total loss of faith in the female species. I keep telling myself that I can't blame all women for the heartache and pain cause by those in the past, and that I need to move on. But the problem is that my relationships with women have only gotten more fake, contrived, and more difficult to understand. Things have not gotten better as I've gotten older, which is contrary to my life philosophy. Life is supposed to improve. Relationships are supposed to grow from one to the next, only that hasn't been the case.
Seven years ago my heart was utterly destroyed by a woman whom I was madly in love with. Her callous, casual way of breaking it off really devalued what we had had together, from my perspective. She did not honor or respect our connection, and the pain from the way she left me has remained unhealed. After seven fucking years, I am still a shell of a man.
Since then I have been unable to secure so much as a second date, let alone have a deep and meaningful relationship to help steer me away from the despair that she left me in. Something to help restore my self confidence, and perhaps most importantly, restore my faith in women. Because from where I'm standing, looking back on this road I have traveled, it would be hard for me to believe any of them had a heart. And that leaves me in this ridiculous state of self-pity, desperately hoping some fantastic woman who truly cares about me will somehow come along, someone who will rescue me like on e-fucking-Harmony. But that is a pipe dream that I cannot continue.
So they see the bitterness and hatred, they see that I am jaded, and they must think, "ahh, no pussy for him." Then they might think to themselves that I objectify women once they see how desperate I am. And women do have this sixth sense for desperation, like dogs can smell fear, and as soon as she notices you staring at her cleavage, or catching a glimpse of other women in the room, she might call you a womanizer, a pig, or a jerk... or maybe she'll slap you, dump her drink over your head. Why not humiliate you? After all, it is her right.
Now this is where my misogynistic feelings really start to boil, when I realize that women objectify themselves, but then demonize men for reacting to it naturally. It is such a double edged sword, yet some men have learned to play the game masterfully. They get pussy by not acting like they want it. They get her to think getting laid was her idea. It's amazing. Only thing is I'm not that guy. That's too dishonest for me, too much of a charade. So instead I end up glancing too much, too often, or too long, at whatever irresistibly sexy part she's got out for display, and then I get placed squarely into the NO PUSSY ZONE.
It's like they're fishing without a hook. They'll tease me with the bait, but they don't really want to catch me. So I get no action once again, go to the strip club and then home to porn surf... and hey guess what, all I'm getting out of the deal is OBJECTS. Is there any question why women are objectified?
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment