Stud At Play

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Latent Homophobia

About a year ago when I was exploring my sexuality and first accepting that I was probably bi, I heard about these rumors going around about men who are "on the down low." Supposedly they are outwardly straight men who secretly have sex with each other on the side.

I asked a good friend of mine what he thought about this, in general, and if he had ever heard about it. His answer surprised me. "Dude, I don't care what anyone says, if you sleep with a guy, you are fucking GAY."

At the time, I had already purchased a few gay magazines and pornos, and gay surfed and masturbated to homosexual material quite a few times. By asking him this general question, I was sort of feeling out how he might react if I told him that I was bisexual. He surprised me because of the stark nature of his answer: when it comes to being gay, you either are or you aren't. His answer made me feel like I could never tell him that I was bisexual, because he would just label me as gay, and perhaps feel betrayed, maybe even get defensive and wonder if our friendship was merely based on misguided affections.

It must be terribly difficult for closeted gay men to come out to their friends and family. The fears of being rejected must be very strong, especially for those raised in more conservative families. But in our society, gay men are less misunderstood and more accepted every day, albeit often only in jokes and on comedy sitcoms (Will & Grace). The fact that there are gay people in the world is no longer a secret, at least in America. Americans can understand gayness, on a basic level, and although they may not agree with it or accept it, they know it exists.

Bisexuality in men, on the other hand, seems far more misunderstood in our society. We are perhaps thirty years behind the curve when it comes to our viewpoint of male bisexuality. I think a lot of men, like my friend, are threatened by gayness. So they have to draw a line in the sand, create contrasting definitions between gay and straight, ideology reduced to absolutes, as a defense mechanism. Perhaps they have felt a tinge of gayness, and in an attempt to reject that side of themselves, have repressed their urges to comply with their enforced heterosexuality. It is this artificial pigeonholing of sexuality that I believe keeps many people in the closet from themselves, never able to figure out why they are so unhappy. What they really crave is a homosexual tryst. They are the Larry Craig's of the world. Afraid to face their inner gay.

One of my all time favorite movies is Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It's about forbidden love, and the tragedy of not having the courage to shun social mores and give in to true love, to just accept the loving gifts of the universe. The main character, Shu Lien, says, "that which we try to suppress, only becomes stronger." This line was rather profound for me when I first saw the movie, as I was myself struggling with feelings I was trying to suppress. I had not yet figured out that I was bisexual, and was fighting to keep from "becoming" gay. I was confused and paralyzed by a strict mis-perception of sexuality that didn't match the urges I was having inside.

A reality show I like on Bravo TV, called Million Dollar Listing, has a character named Madison who explained his sexuality as "open." That makes a lot of sense to me, it strikes a chord. The fact that he is so comfortably blunt about it really turns me on. Not to mention he is SO friggin hot I can hardly stand it. All the guys on that show are totally hot, but that's besides the point. The point is that sexuality is far more complex than gay or not gay. I hope that one day our society can outgrow its myopic view of sexuality.

Pussy Has Personality!

I'm definitely not gay, I could never swear off women! To me the vagina is an incredibly fascinating organ. Each one as unique as the individual who owns it. Equally as complex, mysterious and intricate as the woman attached. Pussy is truly an enigma.

I've heard gay men and even some women say that vaginas are ugly. Ugly? I suppose orchids are ugly in their own way too. When we are too uptight or unable to understand, must we find negative words to fashion our descriptions? Dan Savage says pussy looks like a "canned ham dropped from ten feet." If that's true, then a split canned ham is entirely beautiful and inherently fuckable.

Ham imagery aside, pussy comes in as many shapes and sizes as there are species in the world, with as many variations of expressive individuality as the populace. This is why I love shaved snatch so very much: I like to be able to see and explore all the details within each beautiful tuck and fold. It's the same reason florists trim thorns and shade leaves from roses. It's all about the presentation and accentuation of the intrinsic beauty underneath the protective layers.

Some women have thick, meaty lips and clitoral hood, wrinkled and protruding. The lips remain tangled together, crumpled and tucked-in throughout the day, yet become gloriously expressed when aroused, opening like a flower. Large pussy lips are fun to play with, suck and tug on, nibble and lick. They can be easily spread wide during cunnilingus, to get at the inner folds and clitoris for unobstructed munching. Some women have such long lips, they can be tied in a knot, while others talk to their plastic surgeon about "fixing" this "problem" area.



Longer lips can be uncomfortable during sex if not properly lubricated. Many a porn scene has been shot with the director oblivious to dryness and discomfort, her outer lips being gripped and pulled into her hole with each thrust. Imagine trying to act turned on when your cunt's being ripped apart by a rubber saw. Meaty lips must be given adequate attention and priming before penetrative sex to ensure that the rest of the organ is on-board and aroused enough to keep the juices flowing properly.

Pussy lips are the silken curtains marking the entrance to moist delights inside, a temptation beyond description. The warm and snug gripping of my shaft, a muscular and fantastic love tunnel, self-lubricating and intensely satisfying. Pussy is aptly designed for fucking, the cock merely an evolutionary byproduct of vaginal pleasure, erected to serve at the delights of the queen goddess.

When I'm hard and inches from a pussy, my erectile longing can be as palpable as hunger, as if my cock had radar, fully cognizant of the blissful plunge into moistened pleasure that is merely a thrust away. Within naked proximity, the cock wants nothing more than to perform its sacred duty: inject a steamy cumload deep within. Cocks know what their purpose in life is: piss when soft, cum when hard. Cocks have an almost binary, far more simplified sexual repertoire than pussy, which desires a far greater range of delicacies, and is hard-wired to countless erogenous zones that span the female body.


Not to be outdone by large lips, and every shape and size in between, slender pussy lips are also incredibly beautiful floral arrangements. Barely tucked away and hidden within, peeking out from between the outer walls like a tiny mountain ridge of flesh. They are a joy to eat, sublime to lick like an ice cream cone, alternating from clit to cunt hole, up and down like a commuter train on skin rails. I love to French kiss and tongue tickle smaller pussy lips. They yield easily when fucked, having less surface area than large lips, making more efficient use of the natural lubricating juices. They're probably less uncomfortable getting fucked when dry, but gentlemen please, be careful! I once had a lover who's svelte little lips had literally been torn by an overeager, dick-stupid boyfriend. Her florette required extra special care and attention, since the tear still gave her pain with any dryness, even so many years later. I could have killed that dumb fuck oaf. Guys, please remember to be kind to pussies, they are powerful yet deceivingly delicate organs, and require service and attention far beyond that of our comparably rudimentary cocks.

Some pussy lips are so subtle, they have hardly any outward appearance at all. I've heard these called hamburger buns, but I don't personally like the term. I can see the resemblance, and I love this kind of pussy, but I prefer descriptions with sexier connotations. Like peach slit. The incredible beauty of this kind of vaginal structure reminds me of the seam of a peach, and when shaved the smoothness is quite similar, being a sweet fuzzy treat, the petite outer lips tucked into the canyon between twin puffy mounds, all the hardware deliciously nestled inside. Yumm.

The vagina is the most beautiful part of a woman's body. The most fascinating and mysterious, most privately held part of all, a wonderfully complex and detailed thing. A lifetime of study could never master the complete understanding and command of such a fantastic and awe inspiring organ. Ladies, your pussies are divinely beautiful, absolutely worthy of worship at the altar. May I please?

Is Using Porn the Same as Cheating?

They say if you love someone set them free. It seems that's easier said than done, as jealousy often prevents us from allowing our girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives true freedom. Instead we want them to be committed to us and only us, we want to believe that their eyes never wander, that all their sexual fantasies involve us alone, and that we can fulfill their every desire. Though I do recognize that monogamy is a choice that most of us make by default, I also think that such strict interpretations of commitment are detrimental to healthy relationships. Honestly.

A friend of mine is married but has probably the world's most wandering eyes. He points out hot women constantly, and his wife is no ugly duckling, but still his eyes wander lustfully. I asked him once, "doesn't Amy get upset with you scoping out other women all the time?"

"Nope." He explained, "she knows who I am and knew what she was getting into when we got married. Besides, my philosophy is that it doesn't matter where you get your appetite, so long as you eat at home." Amy knew that the more looking her husband did, the hornier he got, and the more vigorous fucking she was going to get once they got home. Talk about trust and a higher understanding!

I've heard here and there, read blogs and posts on the internet, about spouses who are worried that their significant other is "cheating" on the internet via porn surfing, flirtatious chat, cybersex, or what have you. Once they find out that he or she really is doing it, the guilty feelings are projected inward and internalized. It becomes the cuckold's fault that the other went looking elsewhere, because they alone weren't good enough for them. I think that this is a trap that many of us fall into: distilling someone else's feelings through our own viewpoint, not able to see that each person is an individual driven by their own needs and desires. To further my point, how many of us make all of our decisions initially based solely on someone else? None perhaps except for a mother and her child. Marriage is a union between two individuals. And individuals, at the most basic level, are always driven by survival and self-preservation. Being considerate of others is a learned behavior, not instinctual.

Monogamy is not necessarily human nature. I have a friend, she is a bisexual single mom, who is a strict polygamist. Not that she lives on an FLDS compound, but that she is honest enough with her lovers and more serious relationships to say to them, "look, I don't believe in monogamy." In other words, she knows that she will need sexual fulfillment outside of any relationship she may have, and has the self-awareness and courage to tell the truth from the get go. I think this kind of honesty is lacking in many relationships, primarily because of social constraints and learned guilt responses that have us terrified of unconventional sexual encounters, whether gay, deviant, extramarital, or all of the above.

How many marriages could be improved with more honesty, trust, openness, and willingness to try to understand someone's perspective not viewed through our own personal kaleidescope of judgment? One of my favorite bloggers, Anginae, is dealing with lots of confusion and guilt since her husband came out to her, and I commend her willingness to try to step outside of herself to analyze the situation. It is probably this rare ability to interpret her husband's feelings detached from her own that has saved their marriage so far. Many others with a shallow understanding might have already filed for divorce!

Spouses who find their significant others "cheating" online might do well to try to put their own feelings aside, take a few steps back, and glean some perspective. If not seen through our own fogged lens of jealousy, we might be able to learn more about our mate, delve deeper into who they really are, offering support and understanding so that they feel completely comfortable telling us that they have been having gay fantasies, or that they want to deflower the babysitter; or how she fantasizes about the gardener fucking her in the dirt behind the bushes. Often times it is the taboo that is the most magnetic, especially for those that are severely repressed. It's a classic vicious cycle.

So many people are unknowingly kept unhappy because they can't express their sexual fantasies out of fear of repulsion, rejection, and reprisal. I believe that to have true honestly, openness and understanding in a relationship, we need to commit to know our significant others on their own terms, through their own eyes and not just ours. As for the "cheating" aspect, how much control you exert over your spouse directly reflects your own level of insecurity. Control amounts to selfishness, as we view our own needs of how we want someone else to be as more important than who that person really is, and limits our ability to love that person for who they really are. How can we truly know them if we fabricate our own mental barriers around them?

Lily's Triangle

I just got off the phone with a former lover. She told me she just started stripping. Damn right girl! She has a smoking hot body, perfect sized tits, knows how to dance, is into porn, so I always wondered why she hadn't been a stripper before. She has this way of never aging. Her body is small and petite, and she always reminds me of the 21 year-old girl I first met way back in '96, even though she is now 33. Now that she's a stripper, I'm tempted to go visit her and get a right proper lap dance!

She first shaved her pussy at my request. I had asked her to do a little femscaping so I could get a better angle at eating her clit. She readily agreed. Later the next day she said, "my pussy's felt things she's never felt before!" The smooth exposed condition of her clit left it vulnerable to casual rubs during normal daily movement, and she was amazed at the clitoral delights she could enjoy during regular moments throughout the day. She was instantly hooked, and as far as I know, she hasn't stopped trimming since.

They way she shapes her pussy hair is just so sexy. She shaves her outer lips, and then wide strips on her bikini line, then shaves off everything above her clit except for one little perfectly shaped triangle. It is a beautiful thing. Her pussy lips are a unique orchid of lovely folds, and when I porn surf and see a cunt like hers it always reminds me of her. The way she trimmed her pussy, the way it looked so pretty, the way it tasted. I remember it having a distinct, strong yet not unpleasant taste, not unlike her personality. She's a strong, independent, wildly sexy woman, and she's got the pussy to match.

She told me just now that she has a committed boyfriend. I have to admit I'm a little disappointed that I won't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid if I go to see her. The thought of not getting to see that meticulously trimmed little snatch of hers makes those miles seem all but too far to drive.

The last time we got to fool around was two years ago. We did see each other last year. I even got us a hotel suite for the night, but somehow she was disinterested in sex. I was absolutely devastated. She cock-blocked me, and jerking off did nothing to squelch the fervor churning in my nuts.

Two years ago, we probably had our most vigorous sex ever, though I didn't get to actually fuck that sweet beautiful pussy of hers. She made me fuck her face, which was great because years ago she had said she would never deep throat. Now here she was, hanging her head off the bed, and I was wearing a metal cockring and hard as a rock, literally fucking her throat, balls against her nose. It was great! Of course I came and that was that, and she went to bed.

I still have unfinished business with her. We were talking about sex before she let me fuck her throat that night, and she said we could stick a vibrator up her ass while I fucked her. We never got to do that, and I'm still holding out fleeting hope that maybe we'll have the chance to fulfill that fantasy. She loves anal sex, but always said my cock was too big for her ass. Whatever, girl.

I'll be moving clear across the country soon, and won't get to see her every year or two anymore. I feel sad that we won't have a chance to be occasional lovers again. Sometimes when we saw each other back in the day, neither of us had gotten laid in a while, and the release and familiarity was a truly wonderful thing. She's a good lay, and my cock fits inside of her cunt hole like hand in glove. And her body just won't quit!

I wish her well in her new relationship, though I would jump at the chance to fuck her again, the fine little package of a woman that she is. She knows I'm bi, so maybe I'll send her this post. Let her know how I really feel. I'm secretly hoping she'll break up with this guy before I take one last road trip up her way, but it's not nice to wish ill will on others. Hey... maybe he's bi too! Yeah right, keep dreaming kid.

Beautiful Cumshots

Cum. What a beautiful thing! Gorgeous gobs of hot man milk pumping up from swollen balls, pulsing a fountain from serpentine cock heads. Thrust, spurt, unload flowing streams of steamy juice, splashing and sticky. Dripping hot rivers that puddle and pool on skin. A thunderous eruption of intense ecstasy, waves of pleasure and passion, draining satisfaction from my balls. I love to cum!

The Allure of Gay Porn

Some straight porn has reacted to criticisms that it’s too phalli-centric, becoming more focused on female arousal, and less about the cock and the all mighty money shot. While I commend the porn industry for catering to more vanilla-sex heterosexual and mainstream couples, I also mourn the loss of some good old cock centered porn.

That's what rules about gay porn: it's all about the cock. Usually with a quick, cursory overview of the rest of the body, and then the camera zeros in on the phallus. Then the cock worship begins. Big beautiful throbbing thick juicy cock. The wonderful fuck machine, cum spurt volcano python god.

Men in orgasm tend to be focused on their cocks, at least in masturbation and porn, where seeing the spurts of cum are as much of the experience as the euphoric feelings. Soon the visual aspect of the ejaculate can become inexorably attached to the orgasm experience itself. While women's sexuality is generally a full-body arousal, a man's sexuality focuses on his cock.

Gay porn satisfies the male urge to have the phallus worshiped. Men sucking and fucking, jerking off on each other, mixing cum on flawless abs. Men have cocks and therefore understand the organ better than most women. To their credit, there are some truly talented cock-worshiping women out there, and the best female lovers I have ever had have understood this cock-centric principle.

I do hope my first gay encounter is with a talented cock sucker. The last five or ten women I've been with have had limited, timid cock sucking skills. Good cock suckers seem so rare in the heterosexual world, I kind of have high expectations for my first gay lover. He better suck a mean cock, have amazing deep throat skills, or I might as well be with a woman.

Men's Olympic Diving Voyeur

Though the Olympics are over, they had some of the best eye candy of scantily clad athletes anyone can expect to see. Gymnastics, track, and beach volleyball, syncronized swimming and most of all, diving.

The male divers wear some of the smallest speedos on the planet. Let me be clear, this is a wonderful thing. The new suits worn by the swimmers are a tragedy for a voyeur, it would be a shame if the divers started to wear these, too.

The men's diving is such a joy to watch, those tiny speedos and their impeccable physiques, the athleticism and what's best, the bulges. Standing out on the edge of the platforms and diving boards, sticking their packages out into space. I can't think of an Olympic event where the men's dicks are so pronounced.

If the scores were based on those tight speedo packages, all competitors should get straight 10's.

Shaving My Cock and Balls

I shave my cock and balls with greater care and frequency than I shave my face. Shows where the focus of attention in my life is, I guess.

Anyway, I just shaved up my package and thought I'd post how I do it, what techniques I have discovered over the years to achieve quick, safe, accurate results.

I've shaved on the toilet, in bed, outside in a lawn chair, in the shower, on the couch, with or without soap, shave cream, or lotion, using disposable razors, electric shavers, beard clippers, personal trimmers, and Nair. Some methods work better than others, some not at all.

This time I straddled over the tub, a good way to go if you don't want to take a full-on shower.

The ball sack is best shaved when retracted, scrunched close to the body, so I start out by getting my entire groin area under extreme-shrinkage conditions. Cold water run over the area, or splashed, helps get the skin tight and ready for shaving. The penis shrinks into the body, staying out of the way of the sharp blades. Lather up well, and then run the razor under the hottest water you can. This will prepare the blades for less friction on the skin.

I use a Gillette vibrating Venus3 razor. The razor cartridges for the Venus brand, which are for women, have a protective plastic molding around the blades. This really helps navigate the curves and bumps of the male penile-scrotal region. The micro vibrations work wonders to help the blades glide over the skin, and really does work well.

I usually start with the sides, then under the balls. Shaving still excites me, and my dick always responds to the attention it's getting, so I try to get to the top and sides of my cock, where it meets my balls, before I start to get hard. Once I'm hard I can still shave my balls, but I keep the razor away from my dick while it's hard, just as a rule.

Once I'm done with my balls, using minimal strokes so as not to irritate the skin, I do a quick rinse and towel dry. It's hard to get everything, so once I'm dry, I might touch up a bit with an electric razor. I've used Braun and Remington foil shavers which work well. Again minimal passes with the shaver. Foil and blades must be new and sharp, dull blades chafe the skin.

A good shave job may last me a few days, but best results are maintained for me with the electric razor with daily maintenance. I only use the razor when I've gotten a little shaggy down there, but for a 5 o'clock shadow, the foil shaver is the way to go.

Give Me A Passable Tranny

I'd love to have a passable tranny girlfriend. For an in-the-closet bisexual, that'd be an ideal situation. Introduce her to all my homophobic straight friends, kiss her in front of them, all the while only she and I know that she's got a dick under her skirt. Some of my friends might even lust after her if she was pretty enough, now that'd be funny. Poetic justice.

I've heard some supposedly straight guys say they'd sleep with a tranny. So basically they wouldn't kick a dick out of bed, as long as the person attached didn't look like a man. Weird. I have a feeling that's just an extension of the social stigma placed on men against bisexuality. Female bisexuality somehow seems to be more accepted in our society. Again, I think this is just a subconscious form of homophobia.

I've heard countless homophobic guys say something like, "I'm not against gay men, I just think what they do is gross." Yet in the same breath they'll say how hot is is for two women to be together, or that they like girl-on-girl porn. Talk about a double standard! Pass judgment on two men as gross, but then to like the idea of two women together. I would consider that to be a homophobic projection of one's own insecurities. But who am I to judge?! ;)

So give me a hot ass glamorous tranny girlfriend with the curves of a woman, yet she's all man between the legs. Now that's hot.

My Favorite Cock Ring

This is a picture of me modeling my favorite homemade cock ring. It's more like a spiked cock cage, but I made it myself, and it's a joy to wear. The chains don't pinch, and the spikes add an S&M flair.

The chains and spikes snap off of a typical leather-band cock ring, which can be used for other snap-on components. I can add and remove rings and other accessories for a truly customizable experience. The leather band is adjustable with the snaps for a tight or loose fit, depending on my mood.

The spiked band at the base is just tight enough to keep my erection full, while the chains cradle my balls. The feeling is intense, one of being snugged, squeezed and firmly held by the cold chains. The extra pressure makes for some really strong hard-ons, a thrilling and wonderful sensation. The look and feel, the lifting effect, and protruding of my whole package gives my cock the proud display that it craves.

Beautiful Asses

Seriously Fuckable Asses

Beautiful Cocks

I wouldn't kick these cocks out of bed! These are some truly aesthetic specimens. Groomed just how I like, and proportionally beautiful. I think Mrs. Candy would certainly approve! These chiseled meat sticks are more like works of art than what any man could possibly conceal in his pants. These guys are cock gods.

Shaved Funky Elephant Toast

I am circumcised, as are most American men my age. Flaccid uncut cocks have this funny look to them, so I call them Funky Elephants.

I often wonder what my foreskin would have looked like. Though I prefer the look of a circumcised dick, maybe because that is what I am used to, I do envy uncircumcised guys. They've got all this extra skin to jerk off with, must be nice. Plus I have heard that because the head is not exposed to the elements, it gets less rubbing on your underwear all the time, so it's more sensitive. That sounds pretty good, but I do wonder if it is harder to last longer if the feelings are intensified.

I read about a study that says uncircumcised men are more at risk for HIV. I'm too lazy to Google it right now, but it had something to do with the skin inside the foreskin, that it was easy for the virus to pass through there, like in a wound or a cut.

Not that I'm having tons of unprotected sex, but it's nice to know that the risk for me is that much less, however minuscule.

Anyway here's to the uncut, the Funky Elephants out there. Stroke one out for me will ya? Your cocks are hand job machines!

Gay? The All Or None Myth

Dan Savage, in his August 7th, 2008, syndicated column, Savage Love, "So I Married a Fag Hag" said, "As for 'playing for the other team' ... that can indeed be just a phase — but for women, not men. Men... prefer erotica that plays exclusively to their professed sexual orientation. Which means, of course, that female sexuality is a fluid and male sexuality is a solid."

Though his statement is based on "scientific" research, I wholeheartedly disagree. I would like to know what methods were used in the study that he cited, what the control group was, and how well they designed the experiment to eliminate subjectivity? Were the men asked to personally rate their arousal when shown nude photographs? Or was the data drawn from more objective methods? It seems to me that with the strong social pressure for men to be either straight or gay, few would openly admit arousal when shown a picture of a nude man. In my opinion, to get the most accurate results researchers would need to observe changes in the test subjects' physiology, more deep seated than merely the conscious. I believe that arousal occurs in the subconscious, on a level deeper than that over which we have control.

I have always felt an attraction to both men and women, even before I came out to myself, so the conclusions of the study are simply not in step with my own personal experience. I have strong gay urges sometimes, but have never felt the repulsion to pussy that many gay men have professed. One gay man I know said he never felt an attraction to women on any level, even from when he was a boy. For me, on the other hand, I was always intrigued by women, even from an early age. When I see an attractive woman now, I feel waves of lust, my loins stirred by her curves. I feel magnetized to the delicate skin between her breasts, intoxicated by the thought of her pussy folds cradled by her underwear, hidden and out of sight. To me pussy is a delight. To many gay men, pussy is a disgusting mess.

It is my opinion that we are all a little bit gay, men and women alike. If all social constraints were stripped down, and men weren't afraid of their naturally gay urges, would we have such cut and dry definitions for sexual orientation? I seriously doubt it.

Leather Fetish Party

I simply love leather. The look and smell. The feel of it against my skin. I'd love to have this outfit: leather chaps, leather body harness, leather peek-a-boo brief, leather gloves and gauntlets, leather ball stretcher, metal cock ring. What a beautiful sight! I don't have or want the Prince Albert pictured here, but give me everything else. Served up with platform boots and a rock-hard erection.

I'd love to show up for a leather fetish play party wearing this. Most of the fetish parties I've heard about were supposedly no-touch/non-nudity type, no sex, no orgies. What the hell fun is that? I'd love to show up at a party like this, but have my glorious hard-on sticking out, socializing, chatting, sipping a drink, all the while my thumping member out and on display for all to see! I get hard at the thought of the exposure and vulnerability of my nude cock bound and visible to everyone in the room.

One day I may be lucky enough to attend or host a leather/fetish/play/touch/sex party. Until then it's all fantasy and wishful thinking.

First Glimpse at Gay Mag

When I was a teenager, I used to find porno mags in a 2,200 acre preserve near my house. Its one of those weird things that just kept happening to me. I guess sometimes some of the city people came out to the suburbs with a dirty mag they got in the city, found a private spot in the woods and had their way with the images. I had found a Hustler and a few Penthouses at other times, so when I saw the familiar glossy cover one day I was met with the young teenage hormone thrill and anticipation of getting to see some skin.

This time though, when I picked up the magazine, it was a gay porno mag! Startled, I threw it back on to the ground, half-sickened at what it was, but then felt instantaneously curious about what was in those pages. I tried to drive the urges away by walking away from it, but convinced myself that I'd look at it to see if I was gay, that if I got hard like with the girlie mags, that's how I'd know.

So I went back to the magazine feeling simultaneously too scared to look, too curious not to, but I did and suddenly felt faint. I put the magazine down and left it there, feeling guilty yet relieved that my dick didn't get hard. I did like what I saw in the back of my mind, but I was too afraid to admit it. That would take me another 20 years.

Seduced at a Hotel Bar

Our gay bar in town isn’t well known. It’s a hotel bar in a gay-friendly part of town, I hadn’t known about it until a lesbian friend of mine told me about it. It seemed like a good place to start, as I had been having gay fantasies for years, only recently having decided to actually act upon them.

I went down Saturday night to check it out, it was a typical hotel bar. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for the obvious fact that most every couple and group in the bar were gay men and gay women. Looks like the choice was made for this bisexual: check out the guys! No homophobes to be found here, I thought to myself.

I sat at the bar and ordered a drink, vodka martini. Before too long, some really cute guy came up and asked if the seat next to me was taken. “Not yet” I said, my heart rate racing as he sat down. "Am I going to get hit on by a guy?" I eagerly wondered.

He was wearing a white dress shirt, two buttons undone, I could see that his pecs were well defined and copped a glance down his shirt as he sat down. I looked up and his blue eyes focused on mine in an intense yet unassuming way that made me instantly relax. "What's a guy like you doing in a place like this?" he said half-sarcastically, poking fun at the infamous pickup line.

"Just seeing what's available," I said, smiling with my eyes as I took a big swig off my martini, trying to remain calm. I felt like a deer in his headlights. This was new territory for me, being the hunted and not the hunter, it was a change of pace to not have to make the first move like in the straight bars.

His demeanor was very natural and smooth, flirting with me in a relaxed and confident way. It was more conversational than a date, they are usually more structured and interrogatory, the conversation always seems to end up on personal questions. But this guy had a way of getting around the typical dumb direct questions with humor. "What's a guy gotta do to get a-head in this town?" he said, casting a playful glance, accenting the corny innuendo, "financially I mean, of course."

I finished my first drink, and my new friend quickly offered, "I could get your next drink, or why don't we just have drinks in my room, I got a suite for the weekend and I stocked the wet bar."

"Sounds good, let's go" I heard myself say.

I left a 10-spot on the bar, and he whisked me away to his room. I eagerly waited for him to get out his key to open the door, nearly faint with the thumping in my chest. My first time with a guy was eminent, and my cock pounded against the constraint of my jeans. Heart racing, ears ringing, face blushing, the anticipation was almost unbearable!

He opened the door, and I practically fell into his arms. He was much stronger than me, bigger build, taller, and more muscular. It was like leaning into a stone building, solid and unmovable. Though I had never kissed a guy before, our mouths met in a deep kiss, our tongues entwined. While we made out he unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a meticulously sculpted six pack and chiseled pecs. What luck, I thought, I had met up with a Greek god for my first encounter, and my mind raced with the excitement of long-awaited release.

With a playful tug through my jeans on my throbbing package, he pulled away from me and suggested I sit on the couch while he make us some drinks. I took "make yourself comfortable" to mean take off my pants, since the swelling in my undershorts had become uncomfortable. My dick was doubled-over, trying to get hard on itself, stuffed into my boxer briefs, and when I pulled them down, my cock sprung out like a tiger being released from a cage. Any fullness left to attain in my erection was completed in three heartbeats, my cock instantly pulsing to full mast.

Standing there in the room half naked, cock pumping to my heartbeat, I said to him, "you'd better hurry with those drinks." He looked over, saw what had emerged and smiling wryly, carried over the drinks, "that's why I love skinny guys, they always have such big secrets," and he handed me my drink. Vodka martini, straight up.

Cheers. He moved close and we kissed. I ran my hand over his abs, moved it down and unzipped his trousers. To my delight, his meat tumbled out of his pants, right out of his zipper hole. I leaned my hips forward to rub my cock against his, back and forth while we kissed. He undid his pants button, and they fell to his ankles, revealing alabaster sculpted lower abs and neatly trimmed cock.

Between sips from our drinks, which were now taking effect, adding to the buzz in my head, we made out intently. "I want to be topped" he said, and took off his shirt, sat down on the couch and put his drink on the corner table. He pulled out a condom and lube from a little drawer, and tossed me the condom. "Put this on, I want you to fuck me." He scooted forward, sat back in the couch, put his legs in the air, squirted lube on his hand, and started massaging his asshole as I put on the condom. In no time he had three fingers in his ass and said "bring that cock over here." I knelt before him and stuck my cock in his ass. His skilled muscle practically grabbed my dick and sucked me in. The warmth enveloped my rock hard cock and I pushed deep into him, my balls nestled between his ass cheeks.

I pulled out slowly and he moaned, "yes, fuck me" and I pushed deep into him again. Increasing the pace, I pumped my dick harder and harder into his ass until I was furiously pumping, fucking his hole deeper with each thrust. I grabbed hold of his beautiful hard cock, and used it as a handle to fuck him deeper. "Yes! Fuck me harder!" he screamed, and I started to counter my thrusts with jerks on his cock, so that I was essentially giving him a handjob and fucking him at the same time.

I fucked and jerked him until he declared, "I'm coming!" His asshole clenched down hard on my cock and he came in thunderous bursts onto his chest and stomach. The sight of all that white milky cum and the clenching on my cock just put me over the edge, and I pulled out of him, whipped off the condom, and spurted my orgasm out onto his chest, dripping onto his balls and cock, mixing our cumloads in a spunky brew of man juice.

He spread the cum out all over his chest, rubbed it in to his skin, and I lay on top of him exhausted, put my head on his shoulder, smelled our scents together and fell asleep.

Cock Rings 101: Metal Rings

How to put on a 2-inch chrome cock ring, for beginners.

1) Start when your cock is totally soft:










2) Pull your balls through the ring one at a time:










3) Then snug the ring up to the base of your balls:










4) Push the ring up while guiding your cock through the gap:










5) Adjust and seat the ring comfortably:










6) Enjoy your lifted and beautified package:










Once you get hard with a metal ring, you pretty much can't take it off until you get soft again. Just be patient and reverse the process pictured above. If you have trouble, soap and water helps lubricate the metal for getting it off. If you can't get the ring off, go to the emergency room. Won't that be fun?

The Perfect Blow Job

Get into it, cup my balls, glance me in the eye, let me fuck your throat. Tease me, but don't let me have too much all at once. Change it up, give me a few examples of your skill, show me what you can do, but keep me guessing, keep me on my toes wondering when you'll drive my cock all the way down your throat again, balls to chin. Never let me take control, you are in charge. Worship my cock, lick my balls, my shaft, my head. Make me fuck your face. When I cum, suck me dry and swallow it all. That's the perfect blow job. Intention, intensity, skill, gusto and sheer mastery of the phallus:

Video clip from YOU PORN GAY all free gay videos. Watch and submit amateur gay video anonymously.

Bisexual Marriage

If there's a soul mate for everyone, how can I be sure my soul mate is not a man? With gay marriage gaining acceptance in society more and more every day, marriage may soon be a sacred right for all human beings, male, female, or transgender. Not just male and female. That said, what type of marriage is there for bisexuals?

Could three-way marriage ever be legal? Two men marrying one woman? Polyandry is currently illegal in the US, so that leaves one legal avenue for a bisexual to have a happy marriage. And that is an open one, in which each partner agrees to allow the other to sleep with other people.

This type of relationship would take a tremendous amount of love, understanding and control of jealousy. Can you imagine if your open marriage partner was getting laid like crazy while you're striking out? That'd be double jealousy!

Finding a soul mate has come easy for some, while others have settled for the first thing that came along, and for others it has not come at all. I can't imagine finding a wife who understands that I need to get some man meat every now and then, sometimes with her around, sometimes without. Ideal would be to find a bisexual woman, that way we could enjoy variations of every kind; but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

Here's another solution to the bisexual dilemma, have a husband and we go out and hit on chicks all the time. Don't some women have the fantasy that they will be the one to "break" their gay friend and turn him back to pussy? Make him see the light? Well, I'm ready to be broken. And she gets to watch:

Early Gay Crushes, Barbies, Leotards

When I was five, I had an overwhelming desire to play with Barbies. I can remember one such case where I was with my family at a grown up party, and the all kids had been let loose in the house to play on their own. The boy who lived there had an older sister, and I went to her room to see if her and her friends had any Barbies, and asked if I could play with them, they laughed and said, "boys don't play with Barbies." I never asked to play with Barbies again.

When I was around the same age, I wanted to wear a leotard, like the ones girls wear in gymnastics. So I asked my mom, and she got me a black one with white tights, and a green one with yellow tights. We would make the green and yellow one into a Robin costume with a red belt, yellow cape and yellow ® on the chest. The black leotard was for my own superhero. I can remember even at that young age getting boners in those leotards. I felt ashamed that girls clothes made my little PP hard.

I was a shy and reserved kid, always afraid of sexual curiosity. I chickened out when it came my turn to strip after an older girl and I had made a deal. I couldn't get the courage to make my "two minutes in the closet" a worthwhile event. I was a repressed kid, crippled by my own fears and confusion about intimacy and attraction.

Only a year ago I figured out and admitted to myself that I am bisexual. I wonder how my life would have been different had I the courage to accept my childhood TV crushes on Ponch, BJ McKay, and the Karate Kid. If I had the support of family and community that bisexuality was as beautiful as any part of me, if those feelings weren't repressed for all these years, how would I be different?

I'm still in the closet. I've only told a few people, and one of them I don't even trust anymore. I'm living a virtually celibate life of secret desires and lonely desperation, still too afraid to reach out and act on these indelible urges.

Guy Screws Lesbian: Perks and Pitfalls

A couple years ago I met up with a platonic college friend after twelve years. She was attracted to guys in college, and since had become a hardcore lesbian. As far as I knew, she was still totally gay, which was totally cool with me. One night after hanging out and catching up, she was too messed up to drive, and asked if she could stay over for the night.

"Yeah sure," I said. We had been fairly close friends in college, camping pals, even "snuggle buddies," but we had never crossed any sexual border. We were always just strictly friends. Why should this be any different? Especially now that I knew she was gay?

As we're getting ready for bed, she said, "you need to know that I'm feeling attracted to you right now, and I want to get a sense of where you are at with that before we get into bed together."

Um... I'm a friggin' guy. So this kind of stark and honest language pitched my tent immediately.

Dumbfounded, I stumbled out some lame follow up as my dick flooded the control of my brain. My mind was abuzz with hormones and a surge of endorphins at the prospect of getting laid without the commonly required capital outlay, courting rituals, displays, and mind games. Confused by this turn of events, I could barely complete the task of taking my clothes off.

Naked, we got into bed, embraced, entwined our legs, kissed. It was beautiful. She told me sweetly that she hadn't been with a man for ten years, that she really had no idea what to do with a penis, said it was kind of weird to have this appendage sticking out of me.

The feeling of being a fish out of water was mutual. I tried to eat her pussy, but she was totally natural down there, and her pussy hairs on either side of her hole were as long and wiry as an elephant's ear hair! Despondent, I tried in earnest to push them aside, but lost interest as I felt not quite up to the task, convinced that I couldn't possibly satisfy any lesbian with my rudimentary cunnilingus skills, especially in the face of such an unruly minefield of pubic hairs.

But luckily she spoke the golden words, "do you have a condom?" And soon I was showing her the best thing to do with a penis: I fucked her.

Apparently the strap-ons she had been using with her lovers weren't as big as my cock, so a few times I plunged too deep, making her uncomfortable. I like to go balls deep, so this made getting off a bit of a challenge, but I eventually came, and like any gentleman would do, apologized for not being able to get her off, and fell fast asleep.

In the morning, of course, I had to freak out that I fucked my platonic friend, someone I considered practically a sister, and now I felt like I had committed incest. I told her I didn't want to fuck her again; but as it turned out, we would have a few more encounters and she would end up being the one that helped me realize that I am in fact, bisexual.

What is bisexuality?

Like most unconventional viewpoints of sexuality, bisexuality is greatly misunderstood by the masses. Even within the porn industry, the presentation of bisexual encounters seems limited and over-simplified.

Nearly all of the bisexual male porn videos I have seen almost always have the same MMF (Male-Male-Female) formula in a variation of the same boring scene. He sucks, he fucks, he gets fucked, and the woman is there almost as an extra in a gay porn video. Not much real variety to be found here.

I have seen double penetration scenes in straight porn where the guys are more careful not to touch each other's balls than to actually get into the action. Straight MMF videos always seem to have this element, where she is the center of attention, and the two men are extra careful not to let each others parts ever touch, as if that were a sure sign of being a homo.

I would like to see some more creative portrayals of bisexuality in porn. Real life scenarios and situations are far more complex and interesting than what bisexual porn puts out. The opportunities for variety in one's sex life are the greatest with bisexuality, why not exploit that fact to make better videos?

Here's a few racy situations I'd like to see: The curious gay couple who brings home a chick from the bar, but she turns out to be a tranny! The husband busted with his gay lover by his wife when she gets home early from a business trip. The hottie who brings home two straight men from the bar, and they explore their previously unknown bi curiosities. Two straight friends that agree to watch porn together, but the one who asked forgot his gay porn was in the DVD player.

UPDATE: Oddly enough, the New York Times published an article about bisexual identity the next day.

My Cock Ring Fetish

Confession: I love to build, wear, and photograph my own leather cockrings.

I buy common styles from porn shops and then alter them into custom cockwear.



Sometimes I see how many I can wear all at once.



I love to get my cock all dressed up in one of my leather pieces, pull on stockings, high heels, and my leather fringe CBT belt, and prance around the house with my rock-hard erection sticking out into the hallways and rooms as I strut around.



The sound and feel of the high heels on my concrete floor engorges my cock even more, sometimes turning purple under the tight fit of my cockrings.

Huge Cum Loads: A How To

We've all seen the videos, from porn stars to amateur masturbators, dudes who just unload streams of beautiful hot juicy cum all over the place. How do they do it?! Most of the time when I cum it's a few disappointing spurts, a couple dribbles onto my stomach, or even a dud (drygasm), no cum at all. What the hell?

The first time I clued into what makes my loads bigger, I was videographing for my Cockumentary and setting up the scene for my cum shot. I had done several takes of the scene leading up to the climax, and had been hard and soft a few times already, as the scene called for my cock to grow from soft to hard in one sequence. The anticipation and building up to the final scene had me really horny, and when I finally came it gushed like a fountain, huge loads of cum splashing my chest and neck, one after the other. Suddenly I felt like Peter North!

Another thing that clued me in was a temporary lover I once had. She was giving me a handjob one day, during one of our mutual masturbation sessions, and I had been building up with anticipation again, getting hard and soft for a few hours, while we explored each other, before finally reaching release. My spurts of cum shot all over, and she looked surprised and a little annoyed, as the cum kept flowing, getting it on her fingers and in her hair.

Sensing her discomfort, I apologized to her for making a mess, and she said, "no it's okay - you at least drink enough water so your cum is nice. A lot of guys don't and their cum is like gobs of Jello. I think that's gross."

Hmm, interesting. I had seen those Jello cum globs in porn and on the Net, and just figured everyone's different. Now here was an experienced chick with a viable explanation! And she was clued into the details of the dick - very nice. Most chicks I had been with treated my cock like a mysterious and dangerous weapon, their understanding and compassion for it as contrived and strained as their feigned interest in football or engine repair. She was different. She knew she could get more by giving more.

So now whenever I want to unload huge pools of cum, whether for one of my videos, self-gratification, or impressing a new lover, I drink water all day. When I get excited, I let my balls swell up with cum, then let my erection subside, then make sure to get hard again within half an hour. Keep this up for a few hours, and when I'm finally on the edge, ready to cum, my cock spurts out massive loads of hot, wet, cum into my neck and shoulders, sometimes on my face, and even in my mouth. My orgasm is so much more intense, both with the heightened feeling, and the arousing sight of so much cum erupting from my cock.

Here's a few links to some of my favorite cumshot videos on YouPorn. Sorry about the links, I haven't figured out how to embed video on this blog yet.



Okay I figured out how to do the video thing in a post. See Solo Fellatio for another one of my favorites.

Moved From Xlogz

I moved this blog over from Xlogz today, so that explains why there are posts dated before my join date.

The main reason I moved is because Blogger offers a warning page for adult content blogs. Also, their software is more intuitive than Wordpress. The ease of use makes up for having less features overall, and Blogger has much better social networking capability.

I welcome any feedback, comments, or suggestions.

Attention Surplus Disorder

Since I started coming out on this blog and revealing my secret sexual thoughts and revelations, my sex drive has felt like a Ferrari with the throttle stuck open.

I’ve jerked off no less that three times a day since I started this blog, sometimes as much as five times a day. The skin on my cock has started to get calloused! And even has been rubbed raw on more than one occasion. The problem with sex blogs is that you get all aroused thinking, writing about, and expressing sexual thoughts all day.

Soon my libido will have to take a rest. Dicks are meant to plunge into warm, moist, tight holes, with the help of some form of lubrication. Rough, dry, palms and fingers are a last resort. But as the sexual tension builds while I discuss my own taboos, the constant bulging and shrinking cycles in my shorts have got my balls swelled up as big as goose eggs!

I am in need of service with a happy ending like a fish needs water. Anyone care to help?

Bisexual Benefits

The best part about being bisexual is that sexual beauty and attraction are everywhere you look. The beach is like a visual feast, everything from abs, pecs, arms, bulges, to legs, tits, ass, and pussy. It’s all fair game, and often times on the beach you can find me in dark sunglasses, sporting a permanent cheese grin with all the views there is to enjoy.

One time at a topless beach, the swelling in my shorts compeled me to just sit down and chill out for a while. I’m sure the ladies and particularly the homophobic straight guys would not appreciate me pitching a tent in my boardshorts right there on the beach. Not to mention the beach patrol.

The down side is that sometimes when you’re with a guy, you wish he was a girl, and vice versa. Also for me bisexuality is a secret, and I could be wrong about this, but I think a lot of my straight friends and my family would freak if I told them I was bi. From my limited experience, only GLBT people seem to understand what it is like to be attracted to the same sex. Straight homophobes just freak out and say, “that repulses me” or “its disgusting” and then they think when you are being friendly, you’re trying to hit on them. It’s a weird, freaky, uptight, mixed up world.

Early Urges

From when I was a kid right on through high school to college, whenever in the locker rooms or showers, I always found it hard not to glance at other guy’s cocks.

At the community pool in my hometown, grown men walked around the locker rooms naked, open showers lined the walls, the room had no privacy and I was always curious of their penises and their thick, dark tufts of pubic hair.

At summer camp, I can remember at age 12 maybe, the whole age group took showers together with the counselors. It was a different time than now, when these things were looked upon as normal. All of the boys had small, hairless cock and balls like me, but there was one kid who had already reached puberty, and his cock hung low to his knees. A little boy with a huge grown man penis!

In college, which is long before I realized I was bi, a guy friend and I used to play racquetball and use the gym and showers afterward. I quickly noticed that I never caught him glancing at my package, but that I glanced casually all the time. Was he just not looking? Or was he catching a glimpse on the sly? Did he notice me glancing? I never said anything about it to him.

I always cop a scope. There’s too much beauty in a cock not to look!

Solo Porno

I love to film myself masturbating. I have over 6 hours of tape, much of which I have compiled into digital videos. None have ever been published online, and only a select few friends have seen them… only a few that I know of.

The first time I video taped myself masturbating, I was house sitting some rich friends. They were away for a week, and there I was alone in this beautiful house, and they had a high-end Sony camera that at the time was about the best you could get. The thrill of unzipping my pants and exposing myself to the camera for the first time was like a super heroin sex drug. My heart pounded, my brow sweat, my cock throbbed. Suddenly I could be a exhibitionist and a voyeur at the same time. The feeling was euphoric.

I bought my first video camera specifically for filming my cock. Everything from stripping, to shaving, to cock rings, to masturbating, to self-sucking, to cock bondage, self-inflicted perversions, and eventually making a documentary movie about it all. A video masturbatorium! It is still in process, and I plan to release it here on this blog as soon as I can.