Thursday, August 7, 2008

Guy Screws Lesbian: Perks and Pitfalls

A couple years ago I met up with a platonic college friend after twelve years. She was attracted to guys in college, and since had become a hardcore lesbian. As far as I knew, she was still totally gay, which was totally cool with me. One night after hanging out and catching up, she was too messed up to drive, and asked if she could stay over for the night.

"Yeah sure," I said. We had been fairly close friends in college, camping pals, even "snuggle buddies," but we had never crossed any sexual border. We were always just strictly friends. Why should this be any different? Especially now that I knew she was gay?

As we're getting ready for bed, she said, "you need to know that I'm feeling attracted to you right now, and I want to get a sense of where you are at with that before we get into bed together."

Um... I'm a friggin' guy. So this kind of stark and honest language pitched my tent immediately.

Dumbfounded, I stumbled out some lame follow up as my dick flooded the control of my brain. My mind was abuzz with hormones and a surge of endorphins at the prospect of getting laid without the commonly required capital outlay, courting rituals, displays, and mind games. Confused by this turn of events, I could barely complete the task of taking my clothes off.

Naked, we got into bed, embraced, entwined our legs, kissed. It was beautiful. She told me sweetly that she hadn't been with a man for ten years, that she really had no idea what to do with a penis, said it was kind of weird to have this appendage sticking out of me.

The feeling of being a fish out of water was mutual. I tried to eat her pussy, but she was totally natural down there, and her pussy hairs on either side of her hole were as long and wiry as an elephant's ear hair! Despondent, I tried in earnest to push them aside, but lost interest as I felt not quite up to the task, convinced that I couldn't possibly satisfy any lesbian with my rudimentary cunnilingus skills, especially in the face of such an unruly minefield of pubic hairs.

But luckily she spoke the golden words, "do you have a condom?" And soon I was showing her the best thing to do with a penis: I fucked her.

Apparently the strap-ons she had been using with her lovers weren't as big as my cock, so a few times I plunged too deep, making her uncomfortable. I like to go balls deep, so this made getting off a bit of a challenge, but I eventually came, and like any gentleman would do, apologized for not being able to get her off, and fell fast asleep.

In the morning, of course, I had to freak out that I fucked my platonic friend, someone I considered practically a sister, and now I felt like I had committed incest. I told her I didn't want to fuck her again; but as it turned out, we would have a few more encounters and she would end up being the one that helped me realize that I am in fact, bisexual.

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