How to Fart Like a Girl

I can remember a joke from high school that girls don't fart, they "poof." It wasn't a very good joke, but like all the best jokes it was based on a truism. I always attributed it to social pressures on women to suppress the fact that they have normal bodily functions just like men. It always seemed like they wanted to pretend that they never spit, shit, pissed or puked, as if being ladylike was the antithesis of being just plain human.

Then I shaved the hair from my ass crack, and it quickly became obvious why they do, indeed, poof instead of fart.

Without wanting to be accused of gross generalizations by the PC Police, as part of my theory I must state that women tend to have less body hair. I'm sure there are some women who would know just what I'm talking about when I complain that ass crack hair gets torn out by the roots with a hefty dry shit, but many would say with incredulity, "really?" Yes, really. And it sucks.

Much as I hate having tufts of hair that grapple with bowel movements desperate for liberation, though, I hate not being able to expressively flatulate even more. As a raunch-loving adult male still swayed by third grade humor, a good forced room-clearing fart still cracks me up. I can see myself as a decrepit octogenarian still letting out a devious little chuckle with that most satisfying sound of a good rowdy fart. When it comes to farting, I'll simply never grow up.

Farts become a real disappointment with a shaved ass crack, let me tell ya. No matter how hard you push, they just seem to get lost between the cheeks. There's no vibrato, no reverberation, no satisfying crackle, rumble or crunk. They often just sit there like a bubble trapped under cellophane, like methane stored beneath a lake. At best they might let out a wimpy little sound like a dying duck or a tree frog with laryngitis. They come out as if your ass was under a gag order, unable to pronounce anything more than a pathetic little whimper.

I've often wondered why, if God created evolution, why he didn't let ass crack hair remain with the primates. Now I know: God laughs at farts too!

Zen and the Art of Letting Go

I couldn't count on two hands all the times I've gotten blown off by women and all the ways they've managed to flake out and say without words the "no" that they must have meant to say when I asked them out. I've posted before on this blog about the negative effects that this type of deception has had on my attitude towards women and dating.

So the other night I was at one of my regular bar/restaurants and I noticed a woman working there again who I have not seen in a couple of years. Back then, she was the friend of my best friend's girlfriend, and she approached me one night to say hi. A little bit into the conversation I mentioned one of my favorite activities, snowshoeing, and she said she had never been. Seizing the opportunity, and knowing from her friend that she was single, I asked her if she'd like to go with me. "Yeah, that sounds fun," she said, and I got her phone number to get the date figured out and take this gorgeous woman up into the mountains for the beauty and serenity that only snowshoeing can bring. Only problem was, she must have meant, "oh you mean with you? Hell no!" because she never even had the courtesy to call me back.

So imagine my surprise to see her working at the place again, and it suddenly brought up the bitter memory of the subversive rejection that she callously dished out those few years ago. Our eyes met for a second and she seemed to recognize me, but she was sure to avoid me it seemed, making her way around the restaurant being sure to always have her back turned and to never walk past my table. Crazy thing was, that I realized at that moment that I had forgotten all about her. I couldn't even remember her name. So thankfully I was spared the embarrassment of having to talk to her, and she was spared the guilt of having to face up to her flakiness, but it definitely got me thinking.

I realized that in forgetting her altogether, I had been freed of the pain of the silent rejection she handed down those years ago. I had been able to toss her onto my forgotten pile, and seeing her again was difficult because it brought up all that residual pain of rejection. I wanted to flag her down and say, "hey how come you never called me back, bitch?" but I figured the sooner I could forget about her again the better.

Am I Becoming Less Gay?

I just took this gayness test for the second time last night just for fun. I'm not sure I fully believe the accuracy or the practicality of such a test, but it is kind of entertaining nonetheless. Go check it out if you're interested.

The first time I took it several months ago, it said I was 56% gay. This time, though, it said I am 53% gay. I think I know where the discrepancy came from, it's probably the question about using soap or facial scrub to wash my face. Since the economy tanked, the facial scrub was one of the first things to get eliminated from the budget. So would I be more gay if money was more available? Just goes to show the ridiculousness of this type of test. With only two answers for each question, sometimes neither one seems completely correct.

Regardless, I think it's pretty interesting that I'm scoring right above 50% on this test, which is where I would expect the score to be for a bisexual person. Although this gay test says I'm 36% gay, probably because over half the answers I was like, "huh? How the hell would I know what movies Liza Minelli was in?" Seems to me out of the two tests, the first one makes much more sense, as the questions aren't so obvious which ones are going to increase the gay quotient.

It's actually been a couple of weeks since I even jerked off to gay porn. Lately I've been porn surfing for straight stuff, namely looking for videos of college-age chicks with small tits strip dancing and getting down, letting their fingers do the talking. Also, since my DVD player on my computer friggin' broke (damn am I pissed) I haven't gone and picked out a selection from my gay porno stash. I do have a regular DVD player, but all those pornos have like 15 minutes of ads and previews before it even gets to the menu, whereas my computer just cuts to the chase and picks up the DVD right where you left off, so it gets straight to the goods right away. Worst thing is to wait for the stupid FBI copyright statement and dumb previews about long-defunct 900 numbers while you got your dick in hand, ready to stroke. I just don't have the patience for that. When it's time to whack off - step aside people.

Also I wonder if the six months or so of blogging about this has gotten me more relaxed, or at least less uptight, and therefore less worried about how gay or not gay I am. Getting positive feedback and support from mainly straight guys who fuck men on occasion, and that they don't let labels control their self image, probably has changed my viewpoint a bit, too.

Don't matter though, 'cause I still want to go get some dick and see what that's really like.

Ultimate Christmas Wishlist

I just blew my Christmas money on Amazon and I'm pretty psyched. I have a private wish list full of crossdressing stuff and I ordered a bunch of items that I've been wanting for a while. I doubt I'll wear this stuff out in public anytime soon, but a lot of the time I'm hanging out at home I just have this urge to wear dresses and girlie shit.

So I just got a razorback dress and a pleated skirt. I got lacetop stockings and crotchless panties. I ordered a pair of 5" mary janes and ruffle anklet socks. I got a waist cincher and a cupless corset. Vinyl gloves and a leather collar.

Hell yeah. Watch out for some HNT action in my new stuff, everyone.

The Elusive Deep Post

Not sure what's up lately, but I just don't feel that deep or insightful with my posts anymore. It's funny too because I know there's a lot more topics and personal subjects that I want to talk about, but lately I just don't feel all that inspired to write. I haven't written a fantasy story in a couple months, and I've still managed to let my shyness overwhelm my urge to go out to a gay bar.

Something kinda cool happened in the airport though on my way to the holidays with the family. I was at a pub in the airport terminal waiting for my flight, and there was this pretty obviously gay waiter - he was kinda cute, looked about my age maybe older, and had nice pecs and arms that I could see from under his tight polo shirt. Well the waiter asked the bartender for change, and the guy totally blew him off, saying, "I don't have time for that," and just walked away from him, looking for something to do to look busy. This clearly made the waiter upset, cause he huffed and sighed like he was just fed up with this asshole bartender. I dunno if the bartender is homophobic or what - hell I don't really even know for sure if the waiter is gay, but he did have an effeminate voice and a sweet, tender way about him. The bar wasn't even that packed, so I figured the bartender's excuse was bullshit, and there must be some tension between these two. Though, granted, I was only sitting there for one beer so what the hell do I know?

Anyway, once I paid for my beer I felt bad for the waiter because obviously the bartender's attitude was getting him down. So I took the change over to him and said, "hey, I overheard that guy say he didn't have time to give you change, which is obviously total bullshit, so I thought I'd just give his tip to you, hope that's alright," and I handed him my 100% tip ($5 on a $5 microbrew small-batch beer). His face lit up and he smiled and I was like, "fuck that asshole, don't let him ruin your day." The guy said thanks and took the money.

Not trying to toot my own horn here (see Solo Fellatio lol) but it made me feel good to help someone out no matter how small. It was also fun to flirt a bit and make eye contact with a cute guy. ;)

Toolbelt HNT

Some of My Favorite Quotes

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. -Leo Tolstoy

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. -Plato

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. -Mark Twain

Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill

I’d rather wake up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on earth. -Steve McQueen

If you want something for nothing, go jerk off. -Bob Weir

Eat shit, ten million flies can't be wrong! -Anonymous

He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder. -M.C. Escher

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. -William Blake

When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I’ve never tried before. -Mae West

Zodiac Sexuality Epiphany

Just a couple of days ago, I added my zodiac signs to my profile. Before that I didn't know what my Chinese year animal was, and once I saw it things made a lot more sense.

It's the rooster. COCK!

That's how I can be sure I'm bisexual - Libra = balance, rooster = cock. It's so simple, it's profound. lol

True Confessions: Why I Watch Football

I watch football from the waist down. I love seeing those beefy bulges bouncing in step, pinballed between huge thighs, hidden by no more than a cup and a shoestring. I love how you can see their jockstraps when they line up, I love how the quarterback gets his hands right up in the center's ass. I watch football for the testosterone, the hefty man-on-man action, the occasional innocent player-to-player slap on the ass. All the legs, asses, bulges and rough-boy wrangling always gets me a bit horny.

100 Things About Me

1. Benny Hamilton is not my real name.

2. I am 39 years old.

3. I love Chopin martinis.

4. I live rich whether I am or not.

5. I love being outdoors.

6. I have been snowboarding for 16 years.

7. I believe I was born this way: a little bit gay.

8. I am tired of judging myself for who I really am.

9. I started this blog to help me overcome my fears.

10. I am usually shy and reserved in crowds.

11. I am an entrepreneur starting my third business.

12. I don't have health or dental insurance.

13. Thirteen is my favorite number.

14. I enjoy the simple things in life.

15. I collect quotes.

16. In my free time I blog, write, compose music, take pictures, do woodworking, leather craft, home repair and nothing at all.

17. I completely renovated my house by myself.

18. I don't like to brag.

19. I am opinionated but respect other's too.

20. I am always up for a good conversation.

21. I get nervous on dates.

22. I hate dating.

23. I go out for a nice juicy steak at least once a week.

24. I dig nerdy TV programs.

25. Cats win me over more than dogs.

26. I don't like it when my cat watches me masturbate.

27. I prefer to be nude.

28. I have struggled to accept that I deserve to be happy.

29. I believe that my life improves with age.

30. I am addicted to negativity and pessimism.

31. I like many different kinds of music.

32. I have taught myself to play drums and piano, but not very well.

33. I can be brutally honest.

34. I long for close, meaningful relationships.

35. I always choose quality over quantity.

36. I prefer to not start sentences with the word "I" - having trouble here.

37. Sometimes I think I'm pretty funny.

38. I try not to take life too seriously.

39. I always avoid absolutes.

40. Irony, sarcasm, and wit are my favorite forms of humor.

41. George Carlin is my favorite comedian.

42. Sometimes I read my unabridged dictionary for fun.

43. I don't really think "pervert" is such a bad word.

44. My sex drive seems like it's always in high gear.

45. I believe the mind is the most powerful erogenous zone.

46. I like to talk about sex.

47. Sometimes I talk too much.

48. When my face is relaxed, I look angry.

49. That helps me play a pretty good poker game.

50. I'm trying to think of 50 more things about me.

51. Golf is my favorite outdoor sport.

52. I want to play golf in the nude.

53. Sometimes I wish I was a woman.

54. I have gender issues.

55. I used to be homophobic.

56. I used to be a Mormon.

57. I used to be brainwashed.

58. I try to beware of the dogmatic now and approach life from the pragmatic.

59. Sometimes I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

60. I like to curse and say offensive things.

61. Sometimes I can be a real asshole.

62. I avoid confrontation, and struggle to say what I really need.

63. As I write this, I have a hangover.

64. I don't always treat my body right.

65. I love to party with close friends.

66. When I party, I smoke pot.

67. Sometimes I smoke too much pot.

68. I can't stand musicals.

69. I like good movies and collect them on DVD.

70. I don't think I'll get a flatscreen TV anytime soon.

71. I'm addicted to buying power tools.

72. Procrastination plagues me.

73. I'm tempted to shred all my credit cards.

74. I've never left a debt unpaid.

75. I believe integrity is the most important quality to have in a person.

76. I'm glad only 25% of this list is left.

77. In my life, I am finally breaking out of my shell.

78. I like to learn new things.

79. I am at a turning point in my life for greater things.

80. I have done a lot of soul searching.

81. Sometimes sappy movies make me cry.

82. I've added more positive words to my everyday vocabulary.

83. I think it's working by bringing me affirmative coincidences.

84. I believe the word "God" includes all religion's gods and everything else in the whole universe.

85. I see beauty everywhere.

86. I am a "visual" person, I see and remember in photographic terms.

87. I like to watch the action during sex.

88. I prefer long sessions of foreplay before sex.

89. I take very short showers.

90. Sometimes I think I'm too skinny.

91. I'll probably go masturbate when I finish this list.

92. I love gay porn.

93. I am so glad I started this blog.

94. I'm going to keep my sexuality mostly to myself for now.

95. I know now more of what makes me happy.

96. Coming out to myself has been a big relief.

97. I wish I had accepted this side of me earlier.

98. I have a lot of good qualities to offer a partner.

99. I'm going to get laid tonight.

100. I hope my 100 things about me wasn't boring.

Who Cares Who Gives The Prayer?!

Man, sure is a lot of stink over Obama's choice to give the invocation at his inauguration. It's a friggin' prayer. I mean, who cares who prays at the stupid ceremony? Sure the guy is a gay-bashing homophobic zealot... but aren't like... ALL CHRISTIANS? I'm sure there's a few out there who aren't, one or two maybe, but finding them might have taken Obama longer than the duration of his presidency!

Certainly, this guy Warren has said some fucked up shit. I'm not denying that. It's Warren that's denying his own inner gay - what could be more obvious? - but he also has a right to his opinion just like you and me. So the guy wants to force his unhappiness on everyone else. So the guy has some antiquated logic. So what? It's just a stupid prayer and besides, last I checked we all have the right to think for ourselves. Including him.

Going batshit crazy and acting like a pack of rabid wolves over the whole thing ain't gonna help either. So just live your life, let goodness come from you and it will come to you. And if some politician has some simple-minded bigot say a prayer - really - WHO CARES?! And if you believe in God, do you really think He's going to ignore your own silent prayer and listen exclusively to this fuck? Gimmie a break. And if you don't believe in God, then who cares who says the prayer?

Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. Get over it, please?

Opulent Opportunities

Whenever I get back to my quaint little hometown after visiting a big city, always the first thing that comes to mind is, "man, this is fucking sweet!" After all, people from all over the world come to vacation in the city in which I live, so it can't be all that bad, right?

I returned about two weeks ago from my disappointing trip to Houston. Since then I have seen more women in this town than ever before. And the strangest part is that I catch them looking at me with my newly honed observation skills, thanks to my fellow bisexual blogger, Brad. I'm not sure what to think - are there more women? Have mine eyes seen the glory? Were they looking before and I didn't know how to observe? Has this blog helped me find a newfound confidence that exudes from my personality? I'm not sure what it is, but something has changed.

Examples: I got a huge sparkling smile from a new coffee shop girl - am I dreaming? I felt a spark of interest from a tiny Japanese woman who's now the hostess at my most frequented breakfast dive. I busted the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in this town checking me out where she tends bar - and twice in five minutes. I made the shooter girl at the bar blush when I asked her name. And most recently ran into an old friend at the ski mountain who was there with an office colleague - she was totally hot - and when I asked them to join me for a drink, my eyes met hers and it felt like a lightning storm. I played it cool but later my friend, who's happily married, said, "dude she likes you."

Artistic HNT

Self portrait wearing cockrings. I liked the way the composition and contours came out.

Thinking - Ain't It Legal Yet?

Years ago, I groped and fucked my girlfriend in the mornings before she woke up - at her request. She said she absolutely loved to be woken up in the mornings by sex play, and it was true. It was how she wanted to greet the day. She would tell me the night before that she wanted to wake up with me fondling her, with my finger wiggling inside of her pussy, or sometimes she would say that tomorrow she wanted to wake up with my cock inside of her. We were in love, I'm a man - what was I going to say, no?

Only problem was, as I found out later, that this is technically considered rape. She was not the type of person to set me up, to pull the psychobitch switcheroo and call the cops. She just liked to wake up getting fucked by her boyfriend, that's all. Wasn't that her choice and our own private business? Not according to the letter of the law. I guess I just have to trust her not to press charges, huh.

There are fetish and sex-play books that describe a rape-fantasy role-playing scenario for couples. I've browsed and borrowed some books over the years, and it came with reading them that I found out that what my girlfriend had asked me to do was technically illegal. It was a strange moment to realize the implications.

Another girlfriend from earlier in my life had been brutally raped in a foreign country while we were together, and to this day I still fantasize about going to that country and finding the perp to execute my revenge. She and I had a beautiful relationship before her trip, and when she got back she said that the incident had killed her desire to be close to any man. She broke up with me to take the space she needed to put back together her shattered life. She dropped out of college, moved back in with her mom, and later forgot my name when I called to see how she was doing. We never spoke again, but I still think about killing that bastard for what he did to her.

Man Art

Private Arrangement

Times are tough in this bad economy, and apparently more and more women are turning to prostitution to make ends meet. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure why that is illegal in a "free society," so I say more power to them. As the late great George Carlin put it, "Selling is legal, fucking is legal, why isn't selling fucking legal?!"

To that end, my friend came over to talk about me hiring her as a sex worker. I'm looking for NSA sex, open session adult playtime. She has long had a fantasy of working in a brothel in Nevada, so in a way it's a way for us both to explore a fantasy and get some money in her pocket at the same time.

In our discussion of boundaries, expectations, scenario possibilities, time increments and comfort zones, she warmed up to watching some videos online that I had saved for our meeting. Videos of things I wanted to do with her. Some of which she said she'd have to think about.

During one of the videos, I got a big ol' boner. There was a Japanese massage video where this guy really goes to town on a patient in a seemingly legitimate sex clinic in Japan. Apparently, their society is much more relaxed about sex than ours in the United States.



So there we were watching this video, and she and I had just been talking about sex. I love to have my cock and balls naked, and I am such an exhibitionist I just had to ask her, "would it make you uncomfortable if I took out my cock?" and she said, "no."

So I did. I was wearing my black pajama bottoms so I just pulled the elastic waistband under my balls and tucked my shirt in, so just my cock and balls we exposed to the air. I quickly throbbed to an achingly full erection. I lightly stroked the length of my shaft while we watched the video. She said would feel uncomfortable if I brought myself to come, so I just lightly touched myself while we watched.

Soon she'd seen enough of the video, and commented about the way it made her pussy feel - all warm, moist and puffy. We talked a bit more about sex, me there with my cock out and loving every minute in the limelight. She had to leave soon and that she'd think about what arrangements are going to work. I could certainly understand, and was honestly quite ready for her to leave so I could get to stroking one out.

She was sure to mention that she wasn't normally attracted to me and that we otherwise would not be talking about having sex if it weren't for the money. We have had sex before, a couple of years ago, but she said that was from a former crush that is now fulfilled, over and done. I appreciate her honesty, but at the same time it kind of hurt to hear, that you're not attractive to someone anymore.

So I'm not sure I want to pay for the session now - stupid pride - but she is such a longtime close friend who helped me realize my bisexual nature, and we have talked at length about fantasies and really a lot of kinky shit. This could be a perfect opportunity to hire a sex play consultant and get several items checked off my sexual bucket list.

People’s Preconceived Perceptions

I live in a small city with a large art scene and a huge gay population. So there’s no shortage of gallery openings with gay couples frolicking about, but also these gallery openings are well known to be meat market gold for both straight and queer people alike.

So a straight friend and I hit the openings last night in search of some babes. Most of the women ended up being in the bars that we hit along the way, and one of the galleries in particular was completely empty when we came in.

Being a brisk night, the hostess offered us some hot cider and we set about to small talk.

"Chilly night out tonight, but not too bad… quite nice actually," my friend offered.

"Yes it is," the gallery hostess said, "a beautiful night for couples."

"A very nice night," I managed, cracking up inside, had I just heard this woman mistake us for a gay couple? Aw man, I thought, this is too much!

Right then half a dozen other wanderers crowded into the small gallery. I decided to run with it, and began to intently observe the art, chatting with my friend, "look, this one is only $900, but the frame just doesn’t do it for me."

The hostess was apparently hanging on our every word, and chimed in, "we can customize any frame to your liking."

"Oh of course, thank you," I replied, and we promptly left for another gallery, making our way to a bar up the street. "A beautiful night for couples," I mocked, and we both had a good laugh over that one.

Her assumptions about my friend and I, were they essentially based in homophobia? Did she make a generalization about two men together in the same way she might stereotype some ethnic minority that came in? Was her statement about couples an opportunity to experience the bias of a homophobic world? What would her assumption be if my friend had been a woman? Or even black or Hispanic for that matter? What would her construed reaction be? Would her words reveal the same subtext?

Nice Musscles

True Confessions: Outdoor Masturbator

Whenever I go for a hike in the woods, the supreme natural beauty all around me always gets me ridiculously horny. Being naked outside is one of life's great pleasures for me: the sun and wind tickling parts of my body normally forbidden from such enjoyment. There is also a thrilling element to being naked outside: the specter of getting caught.

When I'm in the forest alone, being naked and getting hard with the exposure is pretty much all I can think about. Even to the point of preferring to hike alone, because should the temptation arise, it is a rare hiking buddy that would not object to me pulling out my junk and waxing one out right there in my own special worship of the great outdoors.

There is also the seduction of taboo involved. While in the National Forest, one is essentially in public. I'm sure more than one park ranger (I always think of them as drop-out cops who failed the academy exam, and therefore took a job with similar authority so they could still control and command mere citizens) has delighted in catching someone jerking off outdoors, or maybe having sex, and carting them down to the poky to be booked on sex offense charges.

Which brings me to an important point about sex offenders. Society and the media today throws this label around as if all sex offenders were unrepentant perverts deserving of secondary-citizen status, that they are all borne of the same immoral scourge that threatens our personal safety and, veritably, the very fabric of society itself.

I think that's total bullshit.

A sex offender can be someone who simply got caught pissing on the side of the road, a woman who flashed her breasts at Mardi Gras, a blogger who drove down the highway with his cock in plain view, even the poor hiker who stroked one out while unwittingly caught in the lens of a park ranger's binoculars. It's called "indecent exposure," and for that their lives are gleefully destroyed, them being callously grouped with child pornographers, old-lady rapers, and snuff filmmakers.

"What is pornography to one man is the laughter of genius to another." - D.H. Lawrence

Road Trip HNT

Driving back from Texas last weekend, I explored a long-time fantasy of driving past a gay trucker with my cock out in plain view. When I'm driving long distances, I hate to have to stop and take a piss, so I often attempt to fill a piss bottle without popping out of the spout, pissing all over the interior of the car and making a big mess.

So the first time on the trip that I got out the junk to fill my bottle, of course my cock had other ideas and promptly reminded me of my lingering fantasy. Instead of getting ready to pee, I got a big throbbing boner that felt so thick and full, I thought it might tear out of its skin like a transforming werewolf or The Incredible Hulk.

I drove past several truckers, not even sure if they could see me or what they might think. I fantasized that one saw me and radioed ahead to the next trucker, "NICE COCK ON THE LEFT, GOOD BUDDY." But nothing of the sort seemed to happen. Once I finally got home I jerked off and unleashed an exceptionally large cumload all over my chest.

Driving six hours with a hard on can really make a man super horny! No wonder there's countless porno shops dotted along the freeways throughout the rural Midwest.

Sweet Boxer Briefs

Blogger's Block

Not feelin' it today. Short on subjects and motivation.

Pubic Hair Repulsion Explained

I once dated a redhead woman for about three weeks. It didn't last longer than that because we were so totally honest with each other. After only getting to know each other for that long, we had already figured out that we were both looking for something different than what the other had to offer.

On the first night that we got naked together, she saw that I was shaved and wanted to sit on me naked. Not to fuck me necessarily, but she wanted to feel my smoothness on her pussy. A few minutes into our bare grinding, I asked her if she would let me shave her pussy. She said "no way" without a second thought.

"I'm a natural girl" she said, and pointed out her hairy hippy legs and armpits, as if I hadn't noticed them already.

Later that night as we made our way to the bed, our make out session got a little more heated, and soon I was eating her hairy pussy. Yes, she did have the fire down below in case you're wondering. Her cunt hair was as red as an Arizona sunset.

Much to my chagrin though, one of her extra long, never-shaved pussy hairs got stuck in my throat. Now this has happened to me before, and it always disgusted me, but always before I was able to flush the unruly entanglement out with a gargle. Not this time. In fact, that rogue cunt hair was lodged in my throat for a solid two weeks, even after we had broken up. Every day I tried to get it to wash down: big forceful gulps of water, drinking thicker liquids like orange juice, swallowing chunks of Jello, etc. I went out to eat and ordered the half pound burger, the T-bone steak, the ribeye, ANYTHING heavy enough to dislodge the pubis from my throat. Nothing worked.

Finally after two weeks it went away -- I must have digested it in-situ, because nothing was going to tame that entanglement.

At that moment I vowed to never eat an untrimmed pussy again. GROSS!!!!

Half Asleep Wet Dream

The other night I had a wet dream, which is a rare but nice occurrence for someone my age. I remember hearing about wet dreams, nocturnal emissions, in sex ed class. That they happened naturally and without awareness, that they were caused by the increasing libido of the teenage mind, and that they went away over time.

Thing is, I still have them every few years, and that for me they have always been vivid, semi-conscious hallucinations, half-asleep dreams in which I seem to be fully aware of what's going on, even to the point of knowing that I am dreaming, to the point of being able to actively guide the dream, and even be able to return to the place I left off after waking up, realizing that I am about to come. My mind knows exactly what is happening, and the wet dream will inevitably end up having a situation where I can literally see and feel my cock plunging into whatever beautiful moist warmth that my imagination has crafted for me.

I'm not sure I have ever had a gay wet dream.

My dream the other night was about a woman that I never had. She was a coworker for a few years, and despite our obvious and palpable chemistry, we never hooked up. She is probably the biggest unfulfilled crush of my lifetime. My longing for her was so strong for so many years, watching her being treated like shit over and over by her abusive boyfriend, knowing that I could give her so much more -- but never have her -- is a tragic pain that I carry with me to this very day. She is the ultimate lost opportunity, because we were totally made for each other. Only problem was her severely low self esteem prevented her from not thinking me a liar when I finally told her how great I thought she was. I finally figured out that she needed her asshole boyfriend to confirm how she felt about herself, that he simply fed her poor self image. It was like she needed to be berated to match her own self worth, that a guy like me would just short circuit her mind, because my compliments and affections did not match how she felt about herself. When I told her she was beautiful, she could not believe that I was telling the truth. She is still with that asshole now almost a full decade later.

So I took her in my dreams instead. The other night I looked into her sweet brown eyes, felt the bottomless drop of my gut with the curl of her playful smile, caressed her tender yet firmly built little frame. In my dream, as clear as reality itself, I flipped her over and spread her legs, took my rock hard cock and parted her cunt with my tip, and fucked her on the bed. In the dream I could see her pussy, I could see and feel my cock plunging in and out, I could hear her sweet voice begging me for more. Just as I was about to climax, I half-woke up, and yet still asleep in her arms, still inside of her in my imagination, yet awake enough to have the wherewithal to check to make sure my cock was still tidily tucked into my underwear so as not to soil the sheets, I fell back into sleep -- fell back into her cunt and spurted load after load deep inside of her.

Morning Wood HNT

I'm really loving this HNT business. It feeds my exhibitionist side while still remaining anonymous. It's so flattering when people post positive comments about my cock. The idea that strange men and women are looking at me is so exciting!

Strip Club Diss

Last night I went to the strip club with my friend I'm visiting here in Houston. His wife is out of town so we decided to cut loose a little bit.

We went to the same place that we went for his bachelor party, and I have been there a few times since then on other visits. This time was kind of a rude awakening, though, much different than all the other times I've been there.

The chicks weren't that pretty, ugly by Houston standards in fact, and they were far from friendly. Not one that I went up to on stage came to talk to me afterward, even though they said they would. One that I had asked even put her thumbs in her ears, wiggled her fingers, and stuck out her tongue at me before leaving the stage. Damn.

Then one came up and said, "why are you just sitting here smiling?" and I said, "because this is a happy place, why wouldn't I be smiling?" and she said in a mocking and Forrest Gumpish tone, "duh, there's tits on stage." That kind of pissed me off so I waved my hand in her face and said, "go away" in my most annoyed tone. Never before have I shooed away a chick at the strip club.

I'm pretty blown away by the unfriendly treatment. I don't go to the strip club, pay to get in, pay for dances, and pay too much for weak drinks to get treated like shit. Plain and simple. I get treated like shit by women all day any day FOR FREE, why would I want to pay for it? Christ.

The Gold Cup in Houston, Texas, is now officially the worst strip club I've ever been to. Makes my hometown titty bar seem like heaven on earth. At least the women there are nice, I mean, that's their friggin' job isn't it?

Three more days and I'm outta here. My experiences this time around have been nothing like the other times I've been here. Guess that's a sign to bail on the whole idea of moving here. Fuck it.

Poll Results Defy Expectations

I put up the reader polls to get an idea of what my small reader base is like. What type of person enjoys my blog? Do they have a big cock or no cock at all? Do they masturbate? Enjoy pornography? Do they get enough sex? All subjects I am wildly interested in, and the outcome always surprises me.

The results I've gleaned from a few polls are the exact opposite of what I was expecting. Out of the respondents so far, only 10% are gay, 30% are bisexual, and the rest are straight. I did not predict this result!

Are there any straight men visiting my site regularly? If so, I got news for you: you're not straight.

If any of my straight visitors are ladies, are you free tonight? ;-)

Keith Olberman, True Patriot

I just saw this for the first time last night. It is the most compassionate and rational monologue on the Prop 8 issue that I have ever seen or heard. It is absolutely beautiful, and brought tears to my eyes.

Gay marriage is beyond any doubt an issue of civil rights. I've posted about the subject before, so I won't repeat myself here, but I'd like to offer an observation after reading many of the comments posted on YouTube.

It just confirms my belief that Christians are the most hate filled people of all the world. They claim to follow Jesus Christ, yet they delight in ignoring his most important message: love your enemies. Go back and read your good book, you fools; and try not to overlook the obvious message again as you scour the pages for "proof" that your god hates homosexuals. Realize that you have let your hearts become corrupted by the Great Deceiver, for your paradigm is one of hatred, bile, and poison. By fostering such anger, you have merely become an instrument of Satan. You are the epitome of hypocrisy.

Though I know all about the Christian faith, I don't believe in that dogmatic hogwash anymore. Keeps my heart and mind from becoming clouded with bigotry again.

UPDATE: I don't know what I was thinking, no religious nut bag would even chance upon this blog or this post, unless of course their hypocrisy runs far deeper than I imagined. This did get me thinking though, that most of the world's problems today are caused by religion, either directly or indirectly.

Houston Opportunities: Update

Well, I found the place that's my cover story, a sports bar where women go to pick up men (can you believe it?!). The odds still weren't that great though. Not counting the obvious couples, the ratio was maybe 3:1, men to women. Can't complain though, because those numbers beat my hometown odds by a factor of ten. Now if only I had the ability to be that jackass who hits on every woman in the bar.

Tonight I had the perfect opportunity to come out to my friends that I'm staying with here (though as I've said before, I think it would be wise to have a gay experience first before making such an extraordinary declaration about my lifestyle) when they mentioned their bisexual friend again. I almost said, "I want to meet him." Which would have been just as well to get them off my back, because they were grilling me about meeting a woman.

I do appreciate my friends' concern that I am alone, and I appreciate them wanting to help me figure out what is holding me back from having more confidence with women. But also I wish they would just leave me the fuck alone about it. It always seems like it's the couple, the man and woman, that can't imagine life as single. It's as if to them life isn't worth living if you don't have a spouse. It's really bullshit and I get sick of it. Do people really think they can't be happy until they find "the one?" Or do they just tell themselves that so they won't just up and admit to themselves that they are truly miserable? It's almost like they want to spread the misery, that no man should be allowed to live his own life... that a life led unmarried is one wasted.

In so many ways, I want to just get it over with and have an experience so I can tell these guys what's really going on. I do feel that their concern for me is genuine, but it would just put the whole "meeting a woman" question to rest. I'd just say that I'm not sure a woman is what I want, and that would relinquish me from having to explain my failures with women, save me from having to drudge over all the bullshit sex roles that the heterosexual world places on people. That men have to be the aggressors. That women have to sit and wait to be approached. That men who are in touch with their feelings are probably gay. I'm just so sick of all the stereotypes and the lines drawn. In so many ways I just want to be free of this struggle, and say "fuck you, I like guys too. SO WHAT."

Also, it might get my friend to cool it with the gay jokes, if he knew he was hurting my feelings.

Urges Surface With Opportunity

I hadn't expected to be an absentee blogger for this whole week, but it turned out that way. I've felt largely uninspired by Houston so far. The job I'm checking out hasn't been what I hoped for. And the pollution has been really getting to me. Not only that, I miss home.

Despite my lack of motivation to blog or anything else this week - aside from my rant about kids brought on by holiday overload - I did feel a tinge of excitement as I googled "houston gay bars" yesterday, and have been looking for the opportunity to get away. Since my friend and his wife don't know I'm bisexual, I also need to find a good cover story, or at least a typical straight bar to say that I went to. But I don't want to go to a typical straight bar. This is about experiencing something new.

So my Google search turned up some encouraging results. Of course there's tons of choices, one is even a leather bar (oh how I wish I had brought my gear!). There are quite a few dance clubs, but one in particular looks to be just my type of place: I like a quiet, mellow, dimly lit bar. When I go out I don't usually want a lot of frantic action or flashy fanfare. I just want a nice classy place to chill out, sip a few martinis, and relax. No techno-throb or DJ's, nothing flamboyant or over the top. Just cool.

Also I really need to see if going to a gay bar lives up to my expectations. I expect that I will get hit on, that I will be approached, which would work perfectly for me because I'm shy and not too good at breaking the ice. As I've bitched about before, what sucks about being a hetero guy is that you have to make all the moves. It's a rare case in a thousand where the woman makes the advance. Most of the times guys have to belly up to the bar and put something out there, because if she's available she's probably just sitting at the bar waiting for someone to have the courage to make an advance. Why she doesn't have the courage to make an advance herself is beyond the point. The point is I want to be the one who gets to sit at the bar sipping my drink while suitors scramble to approach me.

I may well be too vain in assuming that anyone - male or female - would be interested in approaching me, and I may be setting myself up for even more despair if my plan fails, in the event that I am unable to attract any interest at all. But I'm willing to give it a try. Because the rejection I've faced in the heterosexual world would turn anyone's heart to stone.

Holiday Rant

I fucking hate kids. Hate 'em. That's probably half the reason I'm interested in men: I'd never have to worry about ending up with kids. Probably half the reason I can't get a woman either.

Why do I hate kids? Too many reasons to list here, so let me just go over the basics.

Kids make adults act like total dumb asses. Goo goo ga ga.

Kids are self centered and annoying (bless their rotten little hearts).

Kids make me have to hear nursery rhymes. I fucking hate nursery rhymes. More repetitive and simple-minded than Top 40 country music, and they stick in your head until suicide is the only way out.

Kids make me lose my appetite during the holidays while they make a fucking mess and fling food all over the place, blowing snot into the turkey, throwing carrots on the carpet, spitting, blowing bubbles, dumping mashed potatoes on their heads while their love-blind parents gush, "isn't that cute." No, it's disgusting.

Goddamn I hate kids, and God help me if I ever end up with one. That is all.

HNT Negative Exposure

Trip Today Shows Promise

I'm going to Houston for a few weeks on a working vacation. I'll be staying with my best friend and his wife. She's been pretty accepting of me, and my friend and I have been close friends for almost 25 years. He's always supported me no matter what I did, and the last time I was there, about a year ago, we were driving along to go out to eat and they told me about a friend of theirs who had recently gotten a divorce because he had realized that he was bisexual.

At the time, I was just past the point of realizing that and admitting it to myself, and for a split second I thought about coming out to them. It could have been so easy, too. I could have just said, "yeah, I've been dealing with a lot of those same feelings." It wouldn't have been a big deal, it was a perfect segue.

So now I'm going to visit them again. They are encouraging me to get out on my own, too, to go out to places and see the city on my own terms. After all, I might be accepting a job there.

The cool thing is that it's such a gay-friendly city. If I mustered the strength to go out - for I am truly a homebody - I could go to any gay bar or cruise spot that I wanted to. And because I'm in a strange big city, I could do it anonymously. Being there may be the perfect opportunity because I will be away from my small city where chance run-ins and gossip circles abound.

So I had this fantasy of asking my friend for that guy's phone number, the one who came out as bisexual. Then I could let my best friend know about my struggle, and immediately have a local support network to go out and flirt with some guys. I'd love to just talk to this guy about what it was like to come out, how his sex life has changed and is it for the better? Then ask him if he wants to go back to his place and play around, that I'd love to touch his cock. I'm getting stiff just fantasizing about it here!

While I'm away I'll try to keep up with this blog, and I'll definitely keep you all up to date on any adventures, encounters, or conquests along the way.

Strip Club Bliss

I went to the strip club during the daytime again yesterday. This time it was great. I only saw a few of the girls that were there last week, so it was nice to see some fresh faces. Amazingly, this time there were only a couple of girls there with fake tits. All the other girls had nice small natural tits. I was in heaven!

As usual, I let about a half hour go by, maybe ten songs, to give the ladies a chance to make the rounds and complete the circuit. As I've mentioned before, I like to get a good sampling of who's there that day so I can pick my lap dance wisely. I figure if I'm going to pay for some attention, it might as well be from a woman who wouldn't regularly give me the time of day. Half the fun at the club for me is getting to talk to such gorgeous ladies.

After about a half hour of ladies paraded across the stage, I set my sights on two dancers to make my choice. They both had incredibly smooth skin, nice proportional hips, and the little B-cups that I love so much. Most of the time, I'll let them know I'm interested by coming up to the stage, getting a little booty shake, tits in my face, a leg spread, then tuck a dollar under her g-string. If I know she's the one, I'll tuck a fiver and say, "come talk to me." Out of the two that I had narrowed out, of course I went for the younger one, but not only because of that, you see, this girl could dance! She had rhythm and moves, and best of all, she could do the splits like there was no tomorrow.

It can safely be said that any man with a hint of hetero goes nuts for a woman who can do the splits.

I ended up getting six songs from her. All at once. After the first song I was like, "don't stop" and then by the fourth song I knew she could make me come. She had unbuttoned my shirt, was fingering my chest hair, pinching my nipples. She let me tuck my thumbs under her g-string as she grinded her pussy into my throbbing bulge. She did back bends, the splits on my cock, teased me with her lips just a breath away from mine, all the while I could feel the pressure building.

Halfway through the last song I unloaded bursts of hot cum into my pants. I was lucky that I had been tucked a bit to the side, because with my shirt open, if I had been sticking straight up I would have come all over her. I would have preferred that, but I'm sure it would have caused a scene, probably ending in the bouncers beating me to a pulp.

Her perfume was so strong that even after I got home, washed my clothes and took a shower, I could still smell it on me. Sleeping throughout the night last night, her smell mingled with my imagination, and I dreamt of sweet summer days with my new 19-year-old stripper girlfriend. Sometimes you just don't want to wake up!

Happy Happy HNT

Cunnilingus

I love to eat pussy. Good healthy pussy, that is. The more natural and organic foods she eats, the sweeter the nectar, typically. Yeast infections or pH imbalance aside, not all pussy tastes good. Some sweet, some tangy, but the most important factor is how well her pheromones mesh with yours.

The last time I had sex with one of my lovers, I could not complete the task. We were rushed and I lost my erection. Later I decided it was because there was not enough foreplay. I wanted to play with her pussy too, not just fuck it.

Eating pussy well is, well, easy. Just think dunking for apples, think pie eating contest. The first order of business is to forget all you've seen in straight pornos. Guys in pornos eat pussy like it's poison. A few licks up, a few licks down, stick your tongue out as far ass possible so you don't have to get your face close. Remember that pornos aren't trying to show you how to eat pussy, they're just trying to keep the guy out of the way so you can see the pussy. A good cunt eater knows that it's not what you see but what she feels. So get in there!

Pay attention to her movements and you can get a silent sense of what works for her. Most men don't even know where the clitoris is, and many mistake the urethra for the clit. I'm sure many-a-lady has suffered through a bout of mistaken anatomy, as he went to town on the wrong part. Nice work, Eunice.

Rarely you will find a woman with the courage to give directions, and rarely do you find a man who can take them. But careful attention to her details, and perhaps a tender question, "does that feel good?" will show her that you're not just going through the motions. Compliment her, say how nice she looks down there, how sweet she tastes, how smooth her skin is. Many women are self conscious about their pussies in general, so a genuine compliment can go a long way to enhance her enjoyment. It's good to remember that women's erotic triggers are different than men's. Find out what they are, and commit them to memory.

Some men do not enjoy cunnilingus. That's fine, but I suspect they are not practicing on the healthiest pussy, or perhaps the chemical mix with their own body is just wrong. I feel sorry for these guys, because an hour or two at the trough can be sweet slippery bliss. I have been with a woman where her pussy was so incredible, I feasted at the banquet table for quite some time, came on my own without her knowing, got hard again and slipped on a condom. When she was about to go mad with desire and asked if I had a condom, I was already locked and loaded and shoved my dick right in without hesitation. She was in the director's chair, and it made for great sex.

A mastering of cunnilingus is easy with patience and persistence. Take directions. Pay attention to detail. Bury your face in there, find the right zones with her help and don't stop until she's trembling like thunder.

True Confessions: I Steal Panties

I'm that pervert you hear about that steals panties from the laundromat. When your girlfriend goes naked in the hot tub at the party, chances are her panties will disappear from the bathroom, and I'll be on my way home to jerk off all over them.

The first time I gave into my urges to take a pair of panties was at a laundromat in Wyoming. A young woman had left her intimates in the dryer unattended, and as I sat across from her stuff, I noticed a silk black lace pantie tumbling among her cotton undies and bras. Acting like I was doing something I was supposed to, I got up and fished it out before she got back. Soon she returned, piled her stuff into a hamper basket and left, her panties hidden away in my pocket. It was so thrilling I went home and put them on under my clothes, and came back for my laundry later. Though I probably deserved it, no one stole my underwear while I was gone.

Thus started a long history of pantie thievery. I've stolen them at hot tub parties, out of drawers while in strangers homes, from the hamper at parties, anyplace I see a pair and know I can get it in my pocket without anyone seeing.

I've been able to stop, or at least slow down, because I've seen the news reports, "Panty Thief Caught" and they probably are sex offenders now. Grand Theft Panty, I guess. The last time I stole a pair was about six months ago and really pretty risky, because it was my friend's wife's panties, and it was right in front of him. His dog, who is well-known to eat panties out of the hamper, had dragged them out into the hallway and I bent down and grabbed them up. I figured they'd just think he ate another pair and forget about it. Hopefully they did. The light was low and I don't know to this day if he saw me or not.

Gay Club Outsider

I wonder if there is discrimination in the gay world against bisexuals. Are they seen as half-assed turncoats who want their cake and eat it too? For some gay people, coming out has meant rejection from their own family, and they may have made huge sacrifices in their lives and suffered persecution, while the bisexual gets to dabble and experiment privately, but can perhaps more easily maintain the outward public appearance of "normalcy".

My basis for this pondering was an interaction I had on IMVU. I was at a gay virtual club flirting with some guys and it came up I was bi. They asked me to leave, saying I wasn't really queer. It was like they were against me still being attracted to women, and for being confused and in the closet. They made it out like I wasn't someone who had paid his dues, that I was just greedily grazing from the sexual banquet, too afraid to commit to the gay lifestyle. It kinda sucked to get kicked out for not being queer enough.

It started me thinking that bisexual men are not allowed to have an authentic sexual identity. They're just confused or curious or experimenting, they're really gay but are just greedy double-dippers, or whatever. I'm kind of getting tired of the way people treat bisexuality, and I haven't even come out yet! I totally agree with orange108 that coming out would be easier if the world wasn't so anti-gay. That's how I feel about having all these permanent bisexual feelings, and how much easier it would be if there was more acceptance.

There's so little general understanding of gayness. You see an effeminate man and think "oh he's gay" - or see a butch woman and say "oh she's a lesbian". They get categorized for their behavior, easily defined and easier to grasp for ignorant people. How do bisexuals act? There doesn't seem to be an easy way to single them out or pinpoint how they act, so do gay men see them as cheaters in a tough homophobic world?

Bisexual Pornucopia 4

Today's HNT

A Funny Thing Happened Online

I've noticed before that the more desperate a guy acts around women, the more turned off by him they become. It's a strange dynamic, very similar to a predator/prey relationship. The hunters gather for the kill, and the hunted panic the closer he gets. The successful hunter is the one with the most patience, the one who lays in wait, intentions disguised, then pounces unexpectedly. A successful kill always requires cunning, deception, and skill.

As I've decided to branch out and explore my sexuality, I've been flirting a bit with guys online. Since I'm pretty new at this, I find myself taking the roll of the hunted. Which is fine, because having to always be the aggressor in the heterosexual world can get kind of exhausting. As the prey, you just relax and have them come to you, if you want to be preyed upon, that is.

Being able to sit back, as potential suitors stumble and fall all over themselves, and effortlessly employ selectivity preferences fucking rules. Now I feel the power and privilege that women do as they sit on the throne of sexual dynamics, possible mates paraded in front of them like a carnal banquet, "no, no, no, yes, no, no, no."

It's been a real eye opener to see what men are like when it's clear they are thinking with their dicks, and most notably what my reaction is when they come on so strong, and how similar that reaction is to those that I have gotten from women when desperation has taken control of my brain.

A recent exchange was a prime example of this. A gentleman with nice photos of a thick, juicy cock sent me a few messages saying he liked my profile. After an exchange or two, we started to discuss the possibility of meeting for a tryst. That's when he said, "sounds good, I'm up for anything, I'm free tonight and all this weekend."

Right away I lost interest. "Tonight?!" I thought, "wow, this guy moves fast. Too fast!" And suddenly I felt that deer-in-the-headlights sensation, like I'd been singled out for the kill but like I wasn't ready to be taken. Don't these predators know when to strike and to do it gracefully and subversively? Didn't he know that I was playing the selectivity role and he was supposed to cleverly make it seem like sleeping with him was my idea all along?

Immediately I realized that I was playing that role, that I had become the fickle love interest that had left me so confused with women before. It made me realize that all the women I had pursued but never gotten throughout my life had all acted out of this basic principle of attraction/repulsion. I had come on too strong and extinguished their desire with my advances, and now I was getting a chance to wear the other shoe. To see how a strong advance could diffuse my curiosity in an instant.

Sure seems easier to let the suitors come to me, to pick and choose as I please, rather than to make a fool of myself trying to be the potential mate among the pack of dumb-ass hyenas clambering all over each other, snapping, nipping, yelping, fighting amongst themselves for the tiny scraps of pussy-meat tossed their way.

Califirnia Prop 8 Equals Hatred

If the civil rights movement against inequality in the south had been put to vote, we may still have segregated schools, bathrooms, and buildings today. These types of decisions belong in the US Supreme Court where equality and constitutional rights are guaranteed, not in the living rooms of shallow-minded citizens. A vote for granting a certain segment of society (and not another) equal rights is nothing more than a show of hands for bigotry and ignorance.

All arguments against gay marriage are based on fallacy and fear. And I have heard them all. In fact, I used to believe many of them myself, before I grew to accept my very real and undeniable gay side.

For any of you still clinging to this outdated point of view, here are the major talking points debunked one by one:

"Being gay is a choice."
Well, I can tell you that it's not; but even if it was, is it fair to ban a choice that you don't happen to like? That'd be like banning foie gras because most people think it's gross. But to some it is sublime. To each his own, live and let live.

"Marriage is for man and woman only."
No rights for the transgendered, either. Whether through no "fault" of their own or by choice, right?

"Marriage is for making babies."
So then, we should forbid marriage to people who can't physically have children. And when do we force married couples who don't want kids to divorce? After say, five years? And what about elderly couples who met late in life, should they also be banned from marriage because they're too old to have kids? What about the couple who only wanted one or two kids, should they be forced to make more or get divorced? Naturally, men who have had vasectomies should be forced out of their current marriage, and banned from future marriage if you follow this faulty logic to its end point.

"The Bible forbids homosexuality."
For the sake of argument, let's just say the Bible is a legitimate authority on the subject. I would like to point out, however, that homosexuality is not mentioned in the Ten Commandments. Why not ban all those other things first? How come we don't send people to jail who don't honor their parents? Why not imprison people for graven images? Execute them for not remembering the Sabbath. I'm sure some religious nuts would be all for it, but they forget that their god supposedly gave us free will. So convenient to cherry pick your moral code, isn't it?

"It's gross."
Maybe it is, to you. But obviously you never considered that straight sex might be gross to a gay person.

"Children can't be raised properly in a gay household."
I made the same mistake once, where I repeated this ridiculous notion to a friend who, unbeknown to me, had been raised by a loving, committed, healthy lesbian couple. And yes, he is straight, and yes he is now married, and yes - shocker! - he and his wife are expecting. There was nothing about him that fit my own bigoted viewpoint of whether a gay-raised child could have the skills to be "normal" in our society. So much that I never even suspected him of being the product of such an "unholy" union. Boy, did I sure make an ass out of myself.

"Children need both male and female role models."
Okay then, by that rationale, we should take away the children of single parents. No matter if they split up, or maybe just while he's on tour in Iraq; or maybe they got divorced, maybe one of the parents died. Doesn't matter, because that kid is doomed without both parents, so let's go ahead and ban single parenthood while we're at it, and absentee fathers, and working mothers... in fact let's ban fathers working overtime, and why not ban women working altogether for good measure? Keep the women at home barefoot in the kitchen, right? After all, the moral fiber of our society depends on it.

"Gay couples can't love each other as much as straight couples do."
Sounds like YOU are the one who has a problem with love. Sounds like you are searching so hard to find ways that you can categorize and legitimatize types of love in your own head, that you forgot that love conquers all. I know at least one gay couple who love each other more completely and purely than most all the straight couples I've ever met.

"I'm not against gay unions, just call it something else besides marriage."
Separate but equal is the same twisted logic used by Jim Crow and George Wallace to perpetuate segregation in the south. Remember those dark days in our nation's history? Many of the same arguments against gay marriage were used to deny citizens equal rights for generations. Overcoming these prejudices is what makes this country great.

When people manipulate their world view to fit a narrow perspective, justice and equality suffer.

No government has the right to tell its citizens whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.
- Rita Mae Brown

The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.
-Anais Nin

Chastity: the most unnatural of the sexual perversions.
- Aldous Huxley

Thoughts On Coming Out

I was at a dinner party last night with good friends, most notably my homophobic friend. His mom was the hostess, and among her best group of friends there is a gay couple. They were there, and know me well. They are accepted in this group, but still are made fun of a little bit. Come to think of it everyone is made fun of a little bit - it's a fun group that likes kidding around.

Anyway I was thinking that it would be a great situation to come out to everyone, with that couple there as support. Like I've said I want to have a gay experience to be sure first. It wouldn't be polite or appropriate to announce, "hey everyone I like to masturbate to both straight and gay porn!" So I must be sure before taking such a drastic step.

Coming out might end up happening by accident. The other day another friend came over and later I noticed that my "Leather Half Off" DVD was in a slightly hidden spot in my office, and he could have easily seen it. A few times ago he was over and I left out "Bang That Teen Pussy v.10" and he saw that and commented on it. The lines between gay, bisexual, and straight porn are starting to become so blurred in my mind, it's hard to remember that most people are pretty uptight about it. I know I used to be.

Cum On Guys

Strip Club Blues

Since the election, I've been in a pretty good mood. And since I felt a need to celebrate yesterday, I went to my favorite strip club. Most people go at night, for obvious reasons, but I went in the middle of the day. The place is always dark inside, all hints of daylight stamped out like a casino, so in a way it doesn't matter when you go. Honestly, I find the daytime the best time to go, because there's no crowds, and things are usually slow, so the girls have more time to talk.

As per my usual routine, I bellied up to the bar for a few drinks while I looked around to see who's hot and who's not. A dancer with a platinum blond wig, tiny tiny tits, and a really nice body caught my eye early on. After waiting about half an hour for her to make the rounds, give a few lap dances, and schmooze her regular customers, I was ready for a lap dance myself.

Another young woman I hadn't seen yet on stage was giving a few lap dances too. She had a really nice body, incredible ass, and when she came over my way I cast her a big smile. She sat down on my lap and we made small talk for a few songs. She was really cool, but had these huge fake tits. As I've mentioned before, fake tits turn me off, but since her ass was so nice and she knew how to move it. Before we started I said, "do you have a favorite booth?" And she replied, "I think I know what you're saying, but right here is pretty private actually."

During the entire dance, no matter what she did, I didn't feel a single tingle or swell in my shorts. Then she took out her fake tits and rubbed them on my bulge. They felt like two soft rocks, two stiff water balloons, and my cock literally ran for cover. This was a first, because usually being touched by anyone when I'm that horny has my cock standing at attention in two seconds flat, but this time it was my cock that fell flat. I knew fake knockers turned me off, but I didn't know that my dick would react so negatively. It was as if her fake tits made all the rest of her body repulsive to me. I paid her for the dance and said thanks, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had never failed to get hard during a dance before, and that her tits were a real turn-off. I figured that probably a woman with fake tits is pretty insecure about her body, has spent thousands and endured unbearable pain, so the last thing she needs to hear is that the boob job she hoped would increase her appeal in the club has instead decreased my desire to an imperceptible level.

Feeling a little disappointed, I noticed the platinum blond over at the DJ booth and went to talk to her about a lap dance. This is how to know your money's no good at the strip club: She says, "sure honey, but I have to go on stage next and then there's a few guys ahead of you, but I'll come find you after that, I promise." Yeah right. Rejection at the strip club. Nothing could be worse.

So instead I focused my attention to a svelte brunette, and smiled at her each time she walked past me. Finally she stopped and said, "why are you smiling?" So I said, "cause you're fucking hot as hell that's why." And she laughed and sat down. She had such a fine body, nice B-cup tits, thin waist, flawless skin. Her nose was a little big, which gave her that girl-next-door appeal: not outrageously pretty, but oh so cute. I ended up getting three dances from her, but I wasn't able to get off. I wanted to see her pussy, touch it, have her take out my cock and dance on it and jerk me off, but this club is pretty strict. So what I got instead was $60 of frustration and left feeling 100 times hornier than before.

I've heard about people getting a little extra at the strip club, but it has never happened to me.

HNT X-Dress

Perverted Early On

One time when I was maybe eleven or twelve, the family was on a trip to the lake with my brother, my dad and his sister, and her two kids. Out of my two cousins and my brother, only one was a girl, and she was younger than me by about three years.

When we got to the lake, my dad and aunt left us kids in the car and told us to change into our swimsuits. That's when my little cousin said, "look, my vulva!" and I turned around to see her totally naked, legs spread and her fingers parting her pussy lips, showing us all the pink inside.

At the time I didn't know what to think, as I didn't have a sister, and never even dreamed of seeing anything like that before. She must have felt left out, seeing our penises and somehow she felt a need to make sure us boys could see what was fancy about her body, too. It was one of those taboo moments because I knew I was seeing something I wasn't supposed to see, but also that I was seeing something that wasn't supposed to turn me on, bit it did make my dick tingle and bulge a bit, and that felt wrong.

To this day I still have inappropriate feelings toward all three of my girl cousins. Maybe because when she spread her lips that day, I wanted to touch her, and that unresolved urge combined with the taboo has grown into a fetish in my mind.

The more I've tried to repress the early sexual curiosities and perverted thoughts I had as a kid, the stronger they have all become.

Beautiful Trim Jobs 2

I figured why not post some cock pics for election day? After all, we got fucked the last two general elections, so why should this one be any different?