Possible Three Way Raises Questions

I've never had a group sex experience, but it's something I've always been open to. Of course I have fantasized about the two girl one guy thing like every other straight man in the world, and for a long time - even before I realized I was bi - I dreamt about double teaming a chick or watching a guy fuck his woman. Although it's something I've always wanted to do, I've never had the opportunity. Now that I know I'm at least partially bisexual, I can add an all-male group sex experience to the lifetime sexual wish list.

Patrick thinks that one of his lovers would be a good match for us in a three way. The guy is a closeted bisexual and they've been having sex together for seven years. Patrick says they have hot passionate sex, and that I'd have to get up to speed to be able to fit in with them. Not that we don't have hot sex, just that they have had so much time to establish their connection. Patrick says he doesn't think I'm comfortable enough yet with gay sex to get the best out of a three way. He doesn't think we've developed our sexual vibe enough yet.

In some ways I see his point, especially since he's right that I'm still exploring my comfort zone with it all. And to be honest, since I posted about it earlier, our sex life has continued to dwindle. The other night when I went over we barely even kissed. No hot sex like the first three nights, though he said it didn't bother him.

But then in other ways I don't really see his point, because it sort of ties a carrot out in front of me. I kind of resent him bringing up a threeway, but then saying I've got work to do. I can't help but see it as a manipulative move to get me to suck his cock more, or let him play more with my ass, or even fuck it.

I don't often respond well to behavior that seems manipulative. And it might end up encouraging my pullback in sexual interest with him. Which would be a drag because I'd really like to have a threeway!

Craigslist Ad Leads to the Unexpected

The other day I posted a heartfelt poem on craigslist about what I'm searching for. Funny thing was that its in the "men seeking women" section, and I guess my post really spoke to a lot of people 'cause I got lots of responses - including one from a gay guy! Here is the poem I wrote:

I see beauty everywhere, my eyes focus like a lens
My mind wanders seeking expression in words
I am shy and reserved, yet open and self aware
I love conversation and the power of ideas
I want to understand and to be understood
I am deep, spiritual, honest and kind
Sometimes I’m blue, but I always see the good
I know you’re out there, help me find you
I love writing, music, the vast outdoors
I’m here for the mountains, sun and sky
So much love and no one to share
The only thing missing is you...

So the very night I posted it, I got a curious response that said, "What a beautiful post, is it only for women?" And I wrote back, "Maybe... Tell me about yourself." And this really sweet guy named Patrick wrote me back offering a massage and to hang out. We ended up talking on the phone for like 2 hours that night. Then we talked on the phone again today for about an hour. And I'm going over to his house in about an hour.

This is very exciting because it is totally new territory for me, and also to be on the verge of fulfilling a longtime fantasy, to hang out with a really tender and sweet gay guy with the potential for more, like fooling around! He has a hot tub and he smokes pot, so at the very least it will be nice to just chill with a natural person. There's a lot I want to talk about, about being gay, about being queer, bi, or whatever, and I want to confide in him these feelings I've been having, because it seems like he'll really understand.

Our spiritual connection on the phone is really obvious, and there's a lot of sexual tension but still in a comfortable way. Of course my cynical and fearful side wants to force me to cancel, but I don't think I'm going to let that happen. He seems really genuine and real, and seems like at the very least he could be a good guy friend that I can actually talk to about all of this inside of me. He's older than me by about ten years, so I don't really know if there'll be an attraction or any chemistry there, but there's only one way to find out! We talked about so much deep stuff on the phone, I think he has a little crush on me because he said he really hoped that there was physical chemistry between us. I kinda hope so too.

Tomorrow's post will be about what happened tonight! Wish me luck, dear friends! Here's to a brand new year.

True Confessions: Why I Watch Football

I watch football from the waist down. I love seeing those beefy bulges bouncing in step, pinballed between huge thighs, hidden by no more than a cup and a shoestring. I love how you can see their jockstraps when they line up, I love how the quarterback gets his hands right up in the center's ass. I watch football for the testosterone, the hefty man-on-man action, the occasional innocent player-to-player slap on the ass. All the legs, asses, bulges and rough-boy wrangling always gets me a bit horny.

Road Trip HNT

Driving back from Texas last weekend, I explored a long-time fantasy of driving past a gay trucker with my cock out in plain view. When I'm driving long distances, I hate to have to stop and take a piss, so I often attempt to fill a piss bottle without popping out of the spout, pissing all over the interior of the car and making a big mess.

So the first time on the trip that I got out the junk to fill my bottle, of course my cock had other ideas and promptly reminded me of my lingering fantasy. Instead of getting ready to pee, I got a big throbbing boner that felt so thick and full, I thought it might tear out of its skin like a transforming werewolf or The Incredible Hulk.

I drove past several truckers, not even sure if they could see me or what they might think. I fantasized that one saw me and radioed ahead to the next trucker, "NICE COCK ON THE LEFT, GOOD BUDDY." But nothing of the sort seemed to happen. Once I finally got home I jerked off and unleashed an exceptionally large cumload all over my chest.

Driving six hours with a hard on can really make a man super horny! No wonder there's countless porno shops dotted along the freeways throughout the rural Midwest.

Urges Surface With Opportunity

I hadn't expected to be an absentee blogger for this whole week, but it turned out that way. I've felt largely uninspired by Houston so far. The job I'm checking out hasn't been what I hoped for. And the pollution has been really getting to me. Not only that, I miss home.

Despite my lack of motivation to blog or anything else this week - aside from my rant about kids brought on by holiday overload - I did feel a tinge of excitement as I googled "houston gay bars" yesterday, and have been looking for the opportunity to get away. Since my friend and his wife don't know I'm bisexual, I also need to find a good cover story, or at least a typical straight bar to say that I went to. But I don't want to go to a typical straight bar. This is about experiencing something new.

So my Google search turned up some encouraging results. Of course there's tons of choices, one is even a leather bar (oh how I wish I had brought my gear!). There are quite a few dance clubs, but one in particular looks to be just my type of place: I like a quiet, mellow, dimly lit bar. When I go out I don't usually want a lot of frantic action or flashy fanfare. I just want a nice classy place to chill out, sip a few martinis, and relax. No techno-throb or DJ's, nothing flamboyant or over the top. Just cool.

Also I really need to see if going to a gay bar lives up to my expectations. I expect that I will get hit on, that I will be approached, which would work perfectly for me because I'm shy and not too good at breaking the ice. As I've bitched about before, what sucks about being a hetero guy is that you have to make all the moves. It's a rare case in a thousand where the woman makes the advance. Most of the times guys have to belly up to the bar and put something out there, because if she's available she's probably just sitting at the bar waiting for someone to have the courage to make an advance. Why she doesn't have the courage to make an advance herself is beyond the point. The point is I want to be the one who gets to sit at the bar sipping my drink while suitors scramble to approach me.

I may well be too vain in assuming that anyone - male or female - would be interested in approaching me, and I may be setting myself up for even more despair if my plan fails, in the event that I am unable to attract any interest at all. But I'm willing to give it a try. Because the rejection I've faced in the heterosexual world would turn anyone's heart to stone.

Shower Fantasy

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Gay Double Facial

Here's a video for your excitement, everyone. The guy in the middle takes his medicine with such aplomb I had to pull out my own stick and get to wanking.

Subconcious Gay Crush

Fifteen years ago, I had this friend in college, he was a few years younger than me. We used to hang out together, mostly in his room. I'd come over with a bunch of weed and we'd smoke it until it was gone, music loud. At the time I can remember wondering if he was any bit gay or bi, but I never had the balls to ask him. I remember secretly hoping he would come on to me, but I'm not sure I actually acknowledged to this myself. It was more of a secret crush -- a secret even to me.

Five years or so after college, he and his girlfriend came up to visit a few hours north. Later I visited him where he lived, and by then my gay urges had surfaced a bit more, but I was still oblivious to my sexual attraction to men. At the time it was a curious quirk that came and went, nothing that caused me too much concern. Some of the feelings I was having made me wonder if I was gay, but overall my sexual orientation was all straight. All straight porn, straight relationships, straight dreams and fantasies.

Now a full ten years after that, and upon reflection I realize that I had a crush on him. He was very good looking, slightly geeky, a bit effeminate. I knew he dated girls, but in this subconscious way I hoped maybe he had experience with men, and would show me a thing or two. Looking back now, I wish I had talked to him about it.

Today, I still fantasize about him. I imagine that he has a big cock and a smooth chest, and knows how to mentor a newbie gently. To this day I wish he was my first.

Libido Back On Track

Between writing my fantasy story about the figure drawing and yesterday's post of some hot video clips, my sex drive is back in full swing. Once again I've been jerking off to pretty much only gay material, a few tranny and bisexual episodes in between; but for the most part it's been all gay. I think I'm intoxicated with the idea of experiencing what it's like to get a guy hard. To experience that power and control that women must feel over men, straight men anyway, that they could do something sexy and he'd just melt like putty in her hands. The power of subtle sexual control, by being the cause of his erection, the knowledge that grabbing hold of and massaging his cock would be a sensation he could not resist. I think a lot of why I am so attracted to gay fantasies is because of the aspect of envy, that I am jealous of women's control over men. If I was with a man, I might experience some of that power trip, and frankly it'd be just plain fun to have a man paralyzed with arousal. And being a guy, at least I know not to leave him hanging with blue balls, as a fellow guy I'd have enough sense to finish the job.

Erotic Figure Drawing

I saw the ad in the back of our town’s alternative news. It said, “Figure Drawing for Adults. Experience Something New!” I’d taken figure drawing classes before, sometimes the model wore a body-suit, a swimsuit, or rarely nothing at all. This sounded a little different than what I was used to.

“For Adults?” I thought, as I called the number.

A very sweet sounding man answered the phone. He spoke in tender, lisped, feminine tones, and I could tell right away he was gay.

“We wanted to try a different approach to figure drawing, one that celebrates the human form in a more casual, open-minded kind of way.”

This was already sounding pretty interesting.

“We are encouraging all new participants to leave their inhibitions at the door. We will be drawing poses and… positions,” he said suggestively, “not typical of your average figure drawing class. We need to make sure that all new members are aware of and comfortable with the methods.”

“I’m not easily offended,” I offered, hoping to learn more.

“Well good, you may like what our class has to offer then.”

He told me the time and place, how much, how long it runs, and what to bring. “We also let those students that wish to pose do so as well, so bring a robe if you are so inclined.” That made my gut drop. The idea of disrobing and being visually inspected by a group had always seemed arousing to me, but the idea of getting a boner in front of a traditional art class killed that fantasy immediately. Would this really be different like he said?

The class was held in a private home, in a large game room with a draped chair on a large table, surrounded by easels. It was a large house in the fancy part of town, all decked out for a party with ours devours, champagne, and a stack of folded cards that said “TAKE ONE” on the front. Inside the card said, “You have been invited to a Spontaneous Erotic Figure Drawing Class. You may leave if Erotic Nudity doesn’t appeal to you.”

My cock let me know that we were definately going to stay by pressing up against my jeans in a sudden throb of excitement. This was going to be great, I smiled to myself.

Soon the class was underway, and the host stood up to welcome the group. He was a handsome and young-looking 45, in shape and well defined. I guess he was the first model. He had only a small towel wrapped around his waist, and acted comfortable and relaxed. It must have been his home.

"Hi everyone, welcome to Figure Drawing for Adults, I'm Daniel. It's nice to see some new faces, I hope you enjoy the session today." He let his towel drop, and my cock popped. I looked around the rrom to see if anyone else was enjoying this as much as me. The room was mostly men, a few women obviously there with their boyfriends, all my age and older. Except for one guy who acted ashamed at my glance toward him, everyone appeared calm and casual.

Daniel asked if ten minutes would be enough to start the first pose, everyone agreed, and he climbed up on the table, squatted, leaned back, and spread his legs. He was pointed directly at me, legs wide open, as if to welcome me with this delicious introduction. I thought he was looking directly at me, but for the full ten minutes his position and stare did not change, never responding to my smiles and obvious arousal.

He was circumcised, his cock held a meaty stance even soft and curved beautifully into his balls, all of which where perfectly shaved smooth and cropped by a tuft of trimmed hair above. As I focused on the detail of his cock in my drawing, I realized that I was fulfilling a long-time fantasy, and my heart was pounding as I struggled to keep control of my hand and ignore the bulging in my jeans. My cock roared to be let free, but I was still new, I wasn't sure what he meant by "some class members can pose."

After ten minutes an alarm he had set went off and he said, "on to another pose, ten minutes everyone?" And with that he flipped over, spread his legs, and pushed his package down and back. The pose was so fucking hot I could barely draw it. His ass was perfectly smooth, he had an awesome physique, the cutest little asshole, smooth perineum and a wonderful drape to his balls. It was a picture of Greek perfection, and my underwear was wet with the precum dribbling from my cock hole, my shaft thick with excitement, caged behind my zipper.

I looked around the room, and to my surprise, one of the men had unzipped his pants and his fully erect cock was poking through his zipper hole, nearly purple with blood, engorged and looking in absolute desperation of some immediate attention. Obviously he was enjoying this as much as me, if not more. I looked around and no one seemed bothered by his outward advance. He just continued to draw, ignoring his erection intently. I found it hard to keep my eyes off his amazing display, despite the task at hand and the unbelievably candid pose shown by our host, Daniel.

When the ten minutes was up, I was too horny to go on, so I excused myself to the bathroom, and immediately jerked off into the sink. My mind raced, was this just a wet dream? If it was, I didn't want it to end. How could a group of people have a meeting like this, drawing cock-blowingly sexy things like this, remaining totally cool and calm? How could they not all be fucking on the floor by now? "This is making me so horny," I thought, looking at myself in the bathroom mirror. One damn toss into the sink wasn't going to do it. But I felt so shy, I had never ever been in this type of situation, and I was having a hard time just giving in to the urgings of my cock to rip off my clothes and fuck, blow, suck, and get fucked by everyone in the room. Fuck the drawing, I thought, let's just all fuck like wild dogs already.

Three deep breaths and I steeled the composure to return to the room. When I got back, things were the same pretty much, the guy still had his cock stiffly protruding from his pants, and he saw me look at it again and smiled when our eyes met. I gave him a playful wink and without any delay my dick was hard again in my jeans, which as many guys know can be a restrictive, uncomfortable compressing feeling. Some hard dicks simply don't fit into underwear and jeans.

Daniel had taken on another pose, this time turned on his back, legs spread, clenching his manhood, which had now become erect. He was squeezing it hard to keep the blood in for the full ten minutes. My cock, in the meantime, was having no trouble keeping the blood in, and the pressure was too much anymore, and I looked over jealously at the guy whose cock was pulled out, and feeling the increasing pulse unzipped my own pants and pulled out my aching cock. It throbbed at the glory of being free, and I met eyes of approval from the other guy. Daniel said from his pose, "I see our new member is enjoying the session," and everyone laughed, including me. What a great release to be in a room so exposed and feel so accepted and embraced really. It was awesome.

After his pose, he told us that the first half of the session was over, and that there would be a group pose for the second half. Some of the couples left, and the rest stayed, including me. I was wondering if we would get to pose, I looked down at my cock and looked over to my other cock-bearing class member. He winked.

Daniel went back to an open easel, stayed nude, and two guys walked in who I hadn't seen before. They were both muscular and both hard as a rock. They got onto the table and assumed a gay bondage-shaving pose that engorged my cock even more. Now this was crazy. Here I was in a room of guys, one of them with their cock out, one nude, and two guys posing on the table. "Where has this type of figure drawing class been all my life?" I said to my neighbor, the guy with his cock out too.

"Where have YOU been?" he teased.

That sent me into orbit. I frantically finished my drawing, eagerly watching the clock for the end of the session. Daniel had given them 20 minutes for this pose, and my cock was dripping with juice. The timer rang, and at that moment the other guy walked over to me, knelt in front of me and gave me a blow job right there while I watched the models kiss and fondle each others dicks. I came in a flood down his throat, zipped up, and Daniel said, "I trust we'll be seeing you for next week's session?"

Gay Urges Explained

Lately I've been masturbating to gay material pretty much exclusively. I don't know if this is because I'm becoming more gay, less bisexual, or if I'm gearing up for my first experience, or if I'm finally giving up on women or what. It's weird because usually I'm pretty self aware and clued-in to what's going on inside of me. This one is kind of confusing though. I've been on the gay/straight fence for so long, sometimes I wonder if I'm hanging on to bisexuality in the hopes that there's a women out there for me. It's like I'm afraid to give up on women, afraid to totally disavow my attraction to them, for fear that I'd be letting something go that I still want. But then the pain of failure surfaces again and I immediately feel the bitterness bubble up... They make it so hard! And I'm not just talking about my dick.

I simply want my cock worshiped. I don't care what gender gives it the attention it needs, just as long as I'm attracted to them, and as long as they treat my trouser snake like a friggin' king-god. Kneel before it, kiss it, lick it, suck it, shower it with love and affection. Treat it like an altar, a sacrament, show it respect and admiration. Force it down your throat, expertly guide it deep into your ass. Love every inch.

The most alluring thing about having a gay experience is the assumption that my cock will be treated to the attentive affections of someone who knows what the hell they are doing. What makes dicks feel good is no mystery to gay men. They understand cock intimately, what it craves, what makes it tick. The penis is not an extraordinarily complex organ, yet it can shrivel in the hands of the inexperienced and the timid.

I want to be naked on a bed, lean back with my hands behind my head, and have some muscular masseuse oil my engine and coax out a cumload. I want an intimate massage from some hot beefcake, and see him get hard through high-cut silky gym shorts. Then reach out while he stands over me and stroke his cum out all over my chest and abs.

Japanese Spa Fantasy

I went to our local Japanese Spa for a soak in the hot springs. Once in the locker room, as I undressed and put my stuff in my locker and got on on my robe, I remembered that my cock and balls were perfectly groomed. That morning I had given myself a beautiful sculpted manscaping, and as I made my way to the clothing-optional hot tubs, I caught myself secretly hoping someone would notice.

I slipped off my robe and hung it on a peg. Fortunately there were only a few people in the main tub, no kids, just a young couple speaking quietly, some nude sunbathers on the benches, and one other man who appeared to be alone. The couple was in their own world and barely saw me getting into the tub, but I noticed the man catching a glimpse of my groomed package as I slid into the water. A knowing smile emerged from the corner of his lips, and he cast me a glance and raised his eyebrows. I rarely come to the spa, and I had heard straight guys complain about being hit on by gay men there. Being the adventurous soul that I am, I wanted to see what that would be like. Looks like I was getting my wish.

I sat next to the ladder, enjoying the warmth of the water and the cool air on my neck and shoulders. Within minutes the couple got out of the tub and went over to the sauna. Of course I sneaked a peek of them on their way out of the tub, it's simply my nature. The guy said as soon as they were out of earshot “I couldn’t help but notice your trim job... Are you gay?” I thought this was rather forward of him, but figured his curiosity was justified. Probably more gay men shave and groom their cocks than straight men, I thought.

“No, not exactly,” I tease, "but I'm not against it either."

We introduce, and he casually said, “I have a private tub reserved in ten minutes... care to join me?”

My dick perked up and swelled under the water with the offer. "I'll have to wait a few minutes... you just got me hard." I smiled coyly and he laughed.

We talked about this and that, current events, politics, just basically small talk. I kept the subjects off of anything that my dick might mistake for a reason to get hard again. Even at 38 my libido seems like it's just as strong as it was when I was 18. I never got over crude humor, never stopped thinking about sex constantly, never stopped jerking off daily. So my cock has this way of responding to titillating conversation and if I was going to get out of that tub, I wasn't going to have the patrons complaining to the office about erections, which I had heard about before at this place. Apparently some of the men weren't waiting until they got to the private tubs and some families had rightfully been offended. So the place was on high alert.

His name came over the intercom, "Paul, Paul, your private tub is ready." As we got out of the tub I was trying desperately to keep from dwelling on the opportunity I was about to have. I tried not to think about the people that would see us getting out together and the fact that I'm in the closet. I tried not to look up his ass at his nuts as he got out. I tried so hard to stay cool but instead I got hard again, and I climbed up out of the pool with a half hard dick and grabbed for my robe and put it on as fast as I could. I don't think anyone noticed, but I'm sure he did.

We walked down the path to the private tub. This Japanese Spa has themed private rooms and courtyards that have tubs at varying degrees with a sauna, a garden and places to lay out in the sun. This was the Jade Room, once we disrobed we got into the water. The time for talking had passed, it was clear why he had invited me here.

Sitting across the tub from each other on opposing benches, we looked into each other's eyes, silently flirting. Our feet met under the warm water and we touched, inching our feet up each other's legs, up to the knee and past the thigh, and soon our feet were in our crotches, massaging ourselves. It was very sensuous and different than anything I've experienced before, just casual touching and silent communication.

He floated over close to me and we embraced, our cocks entangling under the surface like water snakes. We kissed, he nibbled my neck and I tried hard not to let out a sigh, knowing that the outdoor private tub was still within earshot of the very public path. The spa was supposed to be a quiet place to meditate. Affection and sex were frowned upon there, after all it was a family establishment, not a wild gay sex club! It was important to stay calm, cool, and collected.

I reached under the water and cupped his balls with my hand, we kissed deeper, and he pushed himself on me in a subtly aggressive way. I could tell he was getting pretty horny and wanted to fuck me in the ass.

With the pressure of his physical advance, it was probably good that I told him I only top. He seemed disappointed, but said he understood, and asked if I wanted to go into the sauna so he could suck me off. It was clear he was looking for a little bit more action than just kissing and touching, so I backed away from him, got up out of the water and leaned back in the sun. "Let's just stay here."


He moved over to me and put his arms up on my thighs, took my cock in his hands and buried his face in my balls. As I leaned back, he licked and gently sucked my smooth shaved sack while slightly stroking my cock. It felt amazing to be out in the sun, with the feeling of the breeze and his arms weighing my thighs down, the mixture of sensations throbbed me to a thick, full erection. I looked down to double check I wasn't dreaming, and he looked deep into my eyes and without hesitation took me all the way into his throat. I gasped.

With the suction he was applying to my dick, it wasn't long before my cum was flooding his throat. He sucked me dry and swallowed every drop. Right then the front desk came over the intercom, "Paul, your half hour is almost up."

After I gathered my composure I said, "thanks for the private invitation." I winked. We put on our robes and made our way to the lockers. We quietly showered and dressed as if nothing had happened, and on his way out he handed me his number. "Call me if you want to soak again."

Homo Erotic Massage

When I was in high school, I used to raid my dad's Playboys and Penthouses. The Penthouse magazines were more dirty so of course I always leaned more toward them. One had a story about a married man who had gotten a professional massage from his wife as a gift for their anniversary. The masseuse was a man, and in the story the guy got an erection during the massage, and the masseuse jerked him off and made him come, then quietly finished up the massage.



That story was so exciting because at that time I was completely in the closet to myself, so I was surprised to be turned on by it. Since then I have always wanted to get a massage from some hot guy and when I get hard he strokes me off, just like in the story.



I have only ever gotten professional massages from women, for fear of my cock reacting to this fantasy. It's against professional ethics to massage private parts, and I've only ever paid for a massage from a licensed massage therapist. I've never been to a massage parlor or erotic massage type place, just offices and spas.

Anyway, I'd love to get an erotic massage from some beautiful guy someday, like in the story I read as a teenager, and get stroked by some hunky sexy naked guy. It would be even more exciting if he got hard too, because then I'd know that he was turned on by massaging me and it would get me even harder. It would be great to have a handjob last as long as a paid massage, say, half an hour?

I recently bought a bottle of Astroglide. It's really slippery and lasts a long long time. I've been jerking off with it every once in a while, trying not to overuse it. I've wanted to save it for when I get some beginner anal toys, it's great for anal, I've been told.

Cumming On Stuff

This post is for all of you bi guys out there, apologies to my gay friends, here's other posts for your pleasure.



I love to cum on things. Just seeing all that hot juicy cum splash and splooge all over skin, magazines, panties, leather, or lace - it doesn't matter - it's such a turn on. Sometimes I jerk off onto porno mags, whether they be straight or gay. Watching my cum squirt out and land on the pictures takes me away to a fantasy world, where the person in the photo comes alive in my imagination, helping to visualize my jism peppering their skin.





I love a woman that's not afraid of cum, loves to get it all over her tits and will let me cum onto her back, ass, face or pussy, anywhere I want to see it land. Facials in particular have this wonderful domination/submissive element to them. A chick that can keep a smile through that is truly a cum loving whore, in all the best sense of the word.



And ah yes, to cum on a beautiful cunt. Any chick that ever let me cum right onto her pussy was on the pill, otherwise the fear of getting pregnant was always there, not to mention HIV/AIDS, so usually this was off limits. Getting to do that is a rare treat, especially in non-monogamous relationships. Common sense dictates that you wrap it and trap it, but it sure is fun to unleash all that cum right onto a pussy, if she lets you do it.





I also want to see my cum splattered all over some guy's bare ass. I love porn surfing for gay cumshots. It's just so hot to see that milky jizz all over another guy's abs, balls, ass... whatever, just let me see it pooling up while I'm stroking along, ready to shoot my load onto that creamy mess.



It's such a strong fantasy to see my own cum surge out onto some cute guy's shaved asshole. I'm new to this bisexual thing so I don't really get off on hairy asses or big, gaping, greased, fisted, totally blown out asses. I like a puckered, healthy looking pinkstar. Maybe it's just my relative inexperience with them, as I've rimmed only a few female lovers, but I have to be honest, I've never fucked an ass. Two chicks I have dated were into anal, but they both said I was too big to fit. I dunno, I'm only 6.5 inches, so whatever. Anyway, someday I'm going to get to watch my own cum ejaculating out onto some guy's pretty little ass and I'm going to love every minute of it.

Camping Circle Jerk

I went camping with a friend, just to get out of town. We took my four wheel drive truck deep into the mountains and found a remote spot in a grassy mountain meadow to set up camp. We like to party, and by mid afternoon we were a few beers into the conversation, starting to feel a little buzzed.

He started complaining about the women in our town, that they were so hard to approach and if they weren't already taken, they were friggin crazy. I had had similar bad experiences and failures with women in town, so I took a chance. "I know, when the chicks around here are so hard to connect with, I just go after the guys."

He gave me a stunned look and for a second I was worried that I crossed a line, that maybe I offended him. But instead his face flushed beet red with embarrassment. Flustered, he stammered out, "H-have you ever been? ...with a guy?"

"Not really, but I always wanted to kind of check it out." I told the truth.

"Yeah, the more I strike out with women, the more I want to see what it's like to be with a guy, ya know?"

"Yeah, man I do know..." I said, nervous with the segue and the opportunity. "... um, can I see your cock?"

"Never heard a chick say that!" We laughed and he bashfully said, "I dunno... you go first."

I've always been an exhibitionist at heart, so my cock jumped at the chance. I stood up, unbuttoned my shorts, and pulled out my manhood. I was already starting to get hard. It was a nice day so I just took off my shorts and underwear and laid down in the grass. "I prefer to be naked anyway, and my dick likes it too." My hardening tip glistened in the sunlight, my cock vein pulsed with exposure. "Your turn, dude." I winked.

He gave me a look of hesitation, but my smiling nod must have settled his unease, and he took all his clothes off right there standing in front of me. My cock lunged and hardened to granite.

He sat down next to me totally naked. I took off my shirt and we jerked off right there in the beautiful tall grass and sun, both totally naked. With the breeze and sky and the sound of him beating off, watching every stroke, the excitement had literally come to a head and a cannonball of cum came blasting out of my cock and splashed on my chest. I unloaded my orgasm in seven spurts of juicy cum that ran down my abs in streams. He wasn't far behind and took his eyes off my cumming dick, focused intently on his own, beating himself rapidly now. I reached out and cupped his balls and he was instantly sent into a violent burst of release, he moaned and cum bubbled up to his tip and danced out onto his chest in glorious bursts.

When he was drained he looked up at me, and I bashfully looked away half embarrassed, and he said, "chicks got nothing on that."

Is Using Porn the Same as Cheating?

They say if you love someone set them free. It seems that's easier said than done, as jealousy often prevents us from allowing our girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives true freedom. Instead we want them to be committed to us and only us, we want to believe that their eyes never wander, that all their sexual fantasies involve us alone, and that we can fulfill their every desire. Though I do recognize that monogamy is a choice that most of us make by default, I also think that such strict interpretations of commitment are detrimental to healthy relationships. Honestly.

A friend of mine is married but has probably the world's most wandering eyes. He points out hot women constantly, and his wife is no ugly duckling, but still his eyes wander lustfully. I asked him once, "doesn't Amy get upset with you scoping out other women all the time?"

"Nope." He explained, "she knows who I am and knew what she was getting into when we got married. Besides, my philosophy is that it doesn't matter where you get your appetite, so long as you eat at home." Amy knew that the more looking her husband did, the hornier he got, and the more vigorous fucking she was going to get once they got home. Talk about trust and a higher understanding!

I've heard here and there, read blogs and posts on the internet, about spouses who are worried that their significant other is "cheating" on the internet via porn surfing, flirtatious chat, cybersex, or what have you. Once they find out that he or she really is doing it, the guilty feelings are projected inward and internalized. It becomes the cuckold's fault that the other went looking elsewhere, because they alone weren't good enough for them. I think that this is a trap that many of us fall into: distilling someone else's feelings through our own viewpoint, not able to see that each person is an individual driven by their own needs and desires. To further my point, how many of us make all of our decisions initially based solely on someone else? None perhaps except for a mother and her child. Marriage is a union between two individuals. And individuals, at the most basic level, are always driven by survival and self-preservation. Being considerate of others is a learned behavior, not instinctual.

Monogamy is not necessarily human nature. I have a friend, she is a bisexual single mom, who is a strict polygamist. Not that she lives on an FLDS compound, but that she is honest enough with her lovers and more serious relationships to say to them, "look, I don't believe in monogamy." In other words, she knows that she will need sexual fulfillment outside of any relationship she may have, and has the self-awareness and courage to tell the truth from the get go. I think this kind of honesty is lacking in many relationships, primarily because of social constraints and learned guilt responses that have us terrified of unconventional sexual encounters, whether gay, deviant, extramarital, or all of the above.

How many marriages could be improved with more honesty, trust, openness, and willingness to try to understand someone's perspective not viewed through our own personal kaleidescope of judgment? One of my favorite bloggers, Anginae, is dealing with lots of confusion and guilt since her husband came out to her, and I commend her willingness to try to step outside of herself to analyze the situation. It is probably this rare ability to interpret her husband's feelings detached from her own that has saved their marriage so far. Many others with a shallow understanding might have already filed for divorce!

Spouses who find their significant others "cheating" online might do well to try to put their own feelings aside, take a few steps back, and glean some perspective. If not seen through our own fogged lens of jealousy, we might be able to learn more about our mate, delve deeper into who they really are, offering support and understanding so that they feel completely comfortable telling us that they have been having gay fantasies, or that they want to deflower the babysitter; or how she fantasizes about the gardener fucking her in the dirt behind the bushes. Often times it is the taboo that is the most magnetic, especially for those that are severely repressed. It's a classic vicious cycle.

So many people are unknowingly kept unhappy because they can't express their sexual fantasies out of fear of repulsion, rejection, and reprisal. I believe that to have true honestly, openness and understanding in a relationship, we need to commit to know our significant others on their own terms, through their own eyes and not just ours. As for the "cheating" aspect, how much control you exert over your spouse directly reflects your own level of insecurity. Control amounts to selfishness, as we view our own needs of how we want someone else to be as more important than who that person really is, and limits our ability to love that person for who they really are. How can we truly know them if we fabricate our own mental barriers around them?

First Glimpse at Gay Mag

When I was a teenager, I used to find porno mags in a 2,200 acre preserve near my house. Its one of those weird things that just kept happening to me. I guess sometimes some of the city people came out to the suburbs with a dirty mag they got in the city, found a private spot in the woods and had their way with the images. I had found a Hustler and a few Penthouses at other times, so when I saw the familiar glossy cover one day I was met with the young teenage hormone thrill and anticipation of getting to see some skin.

This time though, when I picked up the magazine, it was a gay porno mag! Startled, I threw it back on to the ground, half-sickened at what it was, but then felt instantaneously curious about what was in those pages. I tried to drive the urges away by walking away from it, but convinced myself that I'd look at it to see if I was gay, that if I got hard like with the girlie mags, that's how I'd know.

So I went back to the magazine feeling simultaneously too scared to look, too curious not to, but I did and suddenly felt faint. I put the magazine down and left it there, feeling guilty yet relieved that my dick didn't get hard. I did like what I saw in the back of my mind, but I was too afraid to admit it. That would take me another 20 years.

Seduced at a Hotel Bar

Our gay bar in town isn’t well known. It’s a hotel bar in a gay-friendly part of town, I hadn’t known about it until a lesbian friend of mine told me about it. It seemed like a good place to start, as I had been having gay fantasies for years, only recently having decided to actually act upon them.

I went down Saturday night to check it out, it was a typical hotel bar. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for the obvious fact that most every couple and group in the bar were gay men and gay women. Looks like the choice was made for this bisexual: check out the guys! No homophobes to be found here, I thought to myself.

I sat at the bar and ordered a drink, vodka martini. Before too long, some really cute guy came up and asked if the seat next to me was taken. “Not yet” I said, my heart rate racing as he sat down. "Am I going to get hit on by a guy?" I eagerly wondered.

He was wearing a white dress shirt, two buttons undone, I could see that his pecs were well defined and copped a glance down his shirt as he sat down. I looked up and his blue eyes focused on mine in an intense yet unassuming way that made me instantly relax. "What's a guy like you doing in a place like this?" he said half-sarcastically, poking fun at the infamous pickup line.

"Just seeing what's available," I said, smiling with my eyes as I took a big swig off my martini, trying to remain calm. I felt like a deer in his headlights. This was new territory for me, being the hunted and not the hunter, it was a change of pace to not have to make the first move like in the straight bars.

His demeanor was very natural and smooth, flirting with me in a relaxed and confident way. It was more conversational than a date, they are usually more structured and interrogatory, the conversation always seems to end up on personal questions. But this guy had a way of getting around the typical dumb direct questions with humor. "What's a guy gotta do to get a-head in this town?" he said, casting a playful glance, accenting the corny innuendo, "financially I mean, of course."

I finished my first drink, and my new friend quickly offered, "I could get your next drink, or why don't we just have drinks in my room, I got a suite for the weekend and I stocked the wet bar."

"Sounds good, let's go" I heard myself say.

I left a 10-spot on the bar, and he whisked me away to his room. I eagerly waited for him to get out his key to open the door, nearly faint with the thumping in my chest. My first time with a guy was eminent, and my cock pounded against the constraint of my jeans. Heart racing, ears ringing, face blushing, the anticipation was almost unbearable!

He opened the door, and I practically fell into his arms. He was much stronger than me, bigger build, taller, and more muscular. It was like leaning into a stone building, solid and unmovable. Though I had never kissed a guy before, our mouths met in a deep kiss, our tongues entwined. While we made out he unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a meticulously sculpted six pack and chiseled pecs. What luck, I thought, I had met up with a Greek god for my first encounter, and my mind raced with the excitement of long-awaited release.

With a playful tug through my jeans on my throbbing package, he pulled away from me and suggested I sit on the couch while he make us some drinks. I took "make yourself comfortable" to mean take off my pants, since the swelling in my undershorts had become uncomfortable. My dick was doubled-over, trying to get hard on itself, stuffed into my boxer briefs, and when I pulled them down, my cock sprung out like a tiger being released from a cage. Any fullness left to attain in my erection was completed in three heartbeats, my cock instantly pulsing to full mast.

Standing there in the room half naked, cock pumping to my heartbeat, I said to him, "you'd better hurry with those drinks." He looked over, saw what had emerged and smiling wryly, carried over the drinks, "that's why I love skinny guys, they always have such big secrets," and he handed me my drink. Vodka martini, straight up.

Cheers. He moved close and we kissed. I ran my hand over his abs, moved it down and unzipped his trousers. To my delight, his meat tumbled out of his pants, right out of his zipper hole. I leaned my hips forward to rub my cock against his, back and forth while we kissed. He undid his pants button, and they fell to his ankles, revealing alabaster sculpted lower abs and neatly trimmed cock.

Between sips from our drinks, which were now taking effect, adding to the buzz in my head, we made out intently. "I want to be topped" he said, and took off his shirt, sat down on the couch and put his drink on the corner table. He pulled out a condom and lube from a little drawer, and tossed me the condom. "Put this on, I want you to fuck me." He scooted forward, sat back in the couch, put his legs in the air, squirted lube on his hand, and started massaging his asshole as I put on the condom. In no time he had three fingers in his ass and said "bring that cock over here." I knelt before him and stuck my cock in his ass. His skilled muscle practically grabbed my dick and sucked me in. The warmth enveloped my rock hard cock and I pushed deep into him, my balls nestled between his ass cheeks.

I pulled out slowly and he moaned, "yes, fuck me" and I pushed deep into him again. Increasing the pace, I pumped my dick harder and harder into his ass until I was furiously pumping, fucking his hole deeper with each thrust. I grabbed hold of his beautiful hard cock, and used it as a handle to fuck him deeper. "Yes! Fuck me harder!" he screamed, and I started to counter my thrusts with jerks on his cock, so that I was essentially giving him a handjob and fucking him at the same time.

I fucked and jerked him until he declared, "I'm coming!" His asshole clenched down hard on my cock and he came in thunderous bursts onto his chest and stomach. The sight of all that white milky cum and the clenching on my cock just put me over the edge, and I pulled out of him, whipped off the condom, and spurted my orgasm out onto his chest, dripping onto his balls and cock, mixing our cumloads in a spunky brew of man juice.

He spread the cum out all over his chest, rubbed it in to his skin, and I lay on top of him exhausted, put my head on his shoulder, smelled our scents together and fell asleep.

Early Gay Crushes, Barbies, Leotards

When I was five, I had an overwhelming desire to play with Barbies. I can remember one such case where I was with my family at a grown up party, and the all kids had been let loose in the house to play on their own. The boy who lived there had an older sister, and I went to her room to see if her and her friends had any Barbies, and asked if I could play with them, they laughed and said, "boys don't play with Barbies." I never asked to play with Barbies again.

When I was around the same age, I wanted to wear a leotard, like the ones girls wear in gymnastics. So I asked my mom, and she got me a black one with white tights, and a green one with yellow tights. We would make the green and yellow one into a Robin costume with a red belt, yellow cape and yellow ® on the chest. The black leotard was for my own superhero. I can remember even at that young age getting boners in those leotards. I felt ashamed that girls clothes made my little PP hard.

I was a shy and reserved kid, always afraid of sexual curiosity. I chickened out when it came my turn to strip after an older girl and I had made a deal. I couldn't get the courage to make my "two minutes in the closet" a worthwhile event. I was a repressed kid, crippled by my own fears and confusion about intimacy and attraction.

Only a year ago I figured out and admitted to myself that I am bisexual. I wonder how my life would have been different had I the courage to accept my childhood TV crushes on Ponch, BJ McKay, and the Karate Kid. If I had the support of family and community that bisexuality was as beautiful as any part of me, if those feelings weren't repressed for all these years, how would I be different?

I'm still in the closet. I've only told a few people, and one of them I don't even trust anymore. I'm living a virtually celibate life of secret desires and lonely desperation, still too afraid to reach out and act on these indelible urges.

Mountain Man's First Time

I was hiking alone in the National Forest, climbing a small easy peak just outside of town. It was mid week and the trails were all but vacant. I had seen an elderly couple at the trailhead a mile or so back, but they were heading out. Being the middle of the afternoon on a weekday, it was a pleasure to find myself alone among the fresh air and pine trees.

On the five miles to the summit, there was only the sound of the breeze through the trees, the occasional songbird, and my footsteps. When I got to the top and rounded the final bend to the crested rocky outcrop, I was surprised and a little bummed to see someone else there.

As I walked up, I noticed it was just a regular guy about my age taking in the view. He glanced over casually and said, "hey, whats up, hows it goin?"

"Pretty good – great views… I usually like to find my own scenic overlook" I said, not hiding my disappointment to find company where I had hoped to be alone.

"The best view is definitely from here. Anyway I dont care if other people are around," he said.

"OK cool – thanks," I said, and went over to join him on the rocks, because it really was the best view. You could look out and see the whole city and the valley and the big mountains beyond.

You live in town? I said, just trying to keep polite. "Yeah, 8 years," he said. "Same here."

I had chosen a spot on the rocks slightly lower than him, and when I turned up to meet eyes in normal conversation, I could not help but notice that his cock and balls were readily hanging out of his shorts! I had never gotten such a full look up a guys shorts before. Shocked and ashamed, I turned my head away and tried to pretend not to have seen. But it was hard to imagine he had not seen that my eyes had simultaneously glanced and stared, and that I had appeared both curious and repelled at the same time.

"These summer days its too damn hot for shorts," he said, and stood up, then with one motion removed his shorts, turned around and placed them on the rocks like a seat, then sat back down, his bottom half naked, with the warm glow of sun shining on his thighs and package. I was surprised to feel my stomach drop and my cock tingle to a slight bulge instantly. It was a thrilling moment, because I had never been knowingly aroused by a man before.

I found myself staring at his cock in the sun, as it twitched and pulsed and sprung to life in the sunlit warmth. I looked up and meet his eyes, he smiled a comforting look, and bashfully looked away, lifting his hips so that the semi fullness of his manhood sprung momentarily off his tanned thigh, pulsing now more intently. It was a beautiful sight that stirred backflips of lust in my gut. My cock ached to be freed from the confines of my underwear and shorts, and to be free in the breeze as he was.

"Do you want to touch it?" he said smoothly and matter of fact. My cock pounded against my shorts at the taboo of his question, my mind raced with anticipation and guilt, the instilled fears of a strict upbringing confusing my thoughts. I longed to have my cock enjoy the sunshine and breeze to tangle and bump against his in a naked manly embrace. Looking lustfully at is now fully erect cock and balls, I noticed they were trimmed and shaved perfectly, the result of a meticulous manscape. I have been grooming for years, and was glad to see an attention to detail and style.

"I’ve never done this before, would you take me out first?" and with that I could resist no longer, and stood up next to him and unzipped my shorts, undid the button and let them drop to my ankles. "Take me out of my underwear," I said, and he pulled out my throbbing cock and balls. The breeze across my scrotum sent throbs of pleasure through my shaft and balls, from my toes to the top of my head. The release of lust was wonderful and at long last.

With my hard dick now in his face, he took me whole in his mouth, enveloped my head and shaft in moist warmth and caring technique, and within one half second this expert had my balls on his chin, my cock fully down his throat. This man could deep throat, a feeling on the cock of unexplainable pleasures. I knew I would blow my load any second if this kept up. We were out in the open at the summit of the little peak, anyone could approach us and see our tryst at any moment. The added likelihood of getting caught enhanced the experience even further.

By now my hand had found its way to caressing his left pectoral, and I wanted to feel another man in my hand finally now after fantasizing an encounter scenario just like this for so long. So I pulled away from the most fantastic blowjob of my life, with cock-sucking talent like no woman I had ever known, and knelt down to explore his neatly trimmed region.

I had remembered this game of exploration I played with my first girlfriend. She would lay me down on a table and strip me bare to investigate my body. I got so hard there on the table, she touched me a bit and caressed me and I remember being so turned on and excited by being played with and laying up on that table so exposed, because my cock stuck straight up in the air!

Looking back now, I know that I was secretly jealous of her, that she got to play with this hard and beautiful glorious thing, and I envied her, because I wanted to play with a cock too! Her pussy was a beautiful sight, and exploring her is one of my most beloved teenage memories; but it was her fascination in the discovery of how interactive a scrotum can be, and her excitement at my cocks seemingly magical growth in the palm of her hand, that was when I first felt the urge to touch another guys dick.

Now here in the sun with this gorgeous man atop this mountain with both of our excited cocks, tip glistened and gleaming in the sunlight, the breeze tickling our balls, it is almost too much to take. I can tell that my excitement has built to a head already, and if there is so much of a brush against my dick, I will spasm into orgasm and spew my hot cum all over the place. It would feel so good and my cock aches for release, but I must see how it responds to touching another man, see if my cock gets hard when I caress his balls; utilize my erection as a meter to determine how much Ive been missing, what possible fulfillment my cock has missed out on while I’ve kept myself forcibly in my own closet.

I take his now half-hard cock in my hands, and I am immediately taken back and turned on by how it feels. I throbs and pulses in my hand, slowly filling back up with blood. The heat of his cock is surprising to the touch, and it stiffens right in my hands. The feeling is amazing, and in no time my own my cock is back to standing full mast, hard and erect in the midday sun. He reaches down to caress me, as I lean in to kiss the tip of his beautiful cock, to feel for the first time a cock in my mouth.

The bead of clear precum on his tip surprises me with its sweet salty taste. I had known my girlfriends to mention it, I had never tasted the nectar myself, and to feel his erection under the soft glide of his python-like head against my lips was one that I had been longing for. Finally I felt at home with my sexuality, denying neither side of the barrier in my mind: that both men and women turn me on and always have and I should never hate myself for that.

As these thoughts raced through my mind, and the blood pulsed through my cock, I wanted to feel more of his meat in my mouth, I wanted to take in his full erection, down my throat expertly like he had, but I gagged a bit as his cockhead filled up the back of my throat completely. I pulled away ashamed and he eased me out of my fears, so he said, "its okay, I dont have any expectations, I know this is your first time."

So I settled for giving my first handjob. Just like any guy, I knew he wanted more, but there was something really nice about just jerking him off there in the sun, my cock free in the breeze, my inhibitions free of previously harsh self-judgment. As I squatted there stroking this complete strangers cock, he looked down and me, saw me smiling and said, "you like that don’t you."

"Yes," I said and turned up the pace, looking up at him sheepishly, stroking him harder and faster, pumping his cock in my hand. I could feel his shaft fucking my hands as I held the skin tight against his cock and pumped him with my fists. Soon he shuddered a bit leaned back, and cum exploded from his cock in glorious throbbing spurts. I could feel his hot jizz well up and shoot out through his shaft, bursting in a wonderful torrent of cum, spurt after spurt, three, four, five gushing gobs of hot juicy cum welled from his cum hole. It was a geyser of lust, a gorgeous fountain of man juice spurting right before my eyes. The feeling of his pipeworks in my hand as I drained the last spasms of cum from his cock, put me over the edge.

I stood up, my cock standing so erect and ready, aching with precum glistening on the head, and he guided my hard-on immediately into his throat. I was so aroused to have my beloved wonderful cock out in the sunshine, fully erect, and to now have his incredibly special treatment. It was a feeling of arousal and curiosity like never before. The fascination of new experience just enhanced the fact that we were outdoors, in the sun and breeze, my balls caressed and gently held while I received the best blowjob of my life. He gobbled my cock, pounding his chin on my balls, thrusting my head deep into his throat with guided abandon and practiced expertise.

It quickly became to much to bare and I tensed up into a fierce orgasm and dumped spurt after spurt of my hot love juice deep into his awaiting throat. He swallowed right in sync with every burst, sucking the cum from my balls like a vacuum cleaner. All the while staring me straight in my astonished face.

Flushed, we gathered our clothes, and walked down the mountain together, and parted ways with a friendly goodbye. I wonder if I will ever meet him on the mountain again.