Private Arrangement

Times are tough in this bad economy, and apparently more and more women are turning to prostitution to make ends meet. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure why that is illegal in a "free society," so I say more power to them. As the late great George Carlin put it, "Selling is legal, fucking is legal, why isn't selling fucking legal?!"

To that end, my friend came over to talk about me hiring her as a sex worker. I'm looking for NSA sex, open session adult playtime. She has long had a fantasy of working in a brothel in Nevada, so in a way it's a way for us both to explore a fantasy and get some money in her pocket at the same time.

In our discussion of boundaries, expectations, scenario possibilities, time increments and comfort zones, she warmed up to watching some videos online that I had saved for our meeting. Videos of things I wanted to do with her. Some of which she said she'd have to think about.

During one of the videos, I got a big ol' boner. There was a Japanese massage video where this guy really goes to town on a patient in a seemingly legitimate sex clinic in Japan. Apparently, their society is much more relaxed about sex than ours in the United States.



So there we were watching this video, and she and I had just been talking about sex. I love to have my cock and balls naked, and I am such an exhibitionist I just had to ask her, "would it make you uncomfortable if I took out my cock?" and she said, "no."

So I did. I was wearing my black pajama bottoms so I just pulled the elastic waistband under my balls and tucked my shirt in, so just my cock and balls we exposed to the air. I quickly throbbed to an achingly full erection. I lightly stroked the length of my shaft while we watched the video. She said would feel uncomfortable if I brought myself to come, so I just lightly touched myself while we watched.

Soon she'd seen enough of the video, and commented about the way it made her pussy feel - all warm, moist and puffy. We talked a bit more about sex, me there with my cock out and loving every minute in the limelight. She had to leave soon and that she'd think about what arrangements are going to work. I could certainly understand, and was honestly quite ready for her to leave so I could get to stroking one out.

She was sure to mention that she wasn't normally attracted to me and that we otherwise would not be talking about having sex if it weren't for the money. We have had sex before, a couple of years ago, but she said that was from a former crush that is now fulfilled, over and done. I appreciate her honesty, but at the same time it kind of hurt to hear, that you're not attractive to someone anymore.

So I'm not sure I want to pay for the session now - stupid pride - but she is such a longtime close friend who helped me realize my bisexual nature, and we have talked at length about fantasies and really a lot of kinky shit. This could be a perfect opportunity to hire a sex play consultant and get several items checked off my sexual bucket list.

True Confessions: Outdoor Masturbator

Whenever I go for a hike in the woods, the supreme natural beauty all around me always gets me ridiculously horny. Being naked outside is one of life's great pleasures for me: the sun and wind tickling parts of my body normally forbidden from such enjoyment. There is also a thrilling element to being naked outside: the specter of getting caught.

When I'm in the forest alone, being naked and getting hard with the exposure is pretty much all I can think about. Even to the point of preferring to hike alone, because should the temptation arise, it is a rare hiking buddy that would not object to me pulling out my junk and waxing one out right there in my own special worship of the great outdoors.

There is also the seduction of taboo involved. While in the National Forest, one is essentially in public. I'm sure more than one park ranger (I always think of them as drop-out cops who failed the academy exam, and therefore took a job with similar authority so they could still control and command mere citizens) has delighted in catching someone jerking off outdoors, or maybe having sex, and carting them down to the poky to be booked on sex offense charges.

Which brings me to an important point about sex offenders. Society and the media today throws this label around as if all sex offenders were unrepentant perverts deserving of secondary-citizen status, that they are all borne of the same immoral scourge that threatens our personal safety and, veritably, the very fabric of society itself.

I think that's total bullshit.

A sex offender can be someone who simply got caught pissing on the side of the road, a woman who flashed her breasts at Mardi Gras, a blogger who drove down the highway with his cock in plain view, even the poor hiker who stroked one out while unwittingly caught in the lens of a park ranger's binoculars. It's called "indecent exposure," and for that their lives are gleefully destroyed, them being callously grouped with child pornographers, old-lady rapers, and snuff filmmakers.

"What is pornography to one man is the laughter of genius to another." - D.H. Lawrence

Impossible Sex Drive

My cock just hasn't been able to keep up with my sex drive lately. It's a dilemma, because I have an urge to masturbate nearly all day, but masturbating doesn't make me cum after like the third or fourth time. So throughout the day, despite all the beating and stroking I can apply, I can't seem to get relief. Talk about frustration. I just can't seem to release the pressure, and the chaffing is getting to me. I need to get laid, and whatever I've been trying to achieve to that end ain't working, which adds to the frustration. It's a vicious cycle, and my cock is the unwilling victim.

It's when I feel like my anatomy is failing me that my feelings of gender despair are strongest. If I was a woman, not only would I have this rockin' pussy that I could masturbate for hours, keeping up with my libido; but also it would just be so much easier to get laid. And wishing I was a woman is the most impossible dream, so it makes me feel even more frustrated.

What is Bisensuality?

Bisensual. This was a word I thought I made up. Since I've not yet had sex with a man, I didn't feel 100% truthful is naming this blog "Bisexual", because I can't yet be sure that that's where this journey is bringing me.

Since I have fantasies about both men and women, that I masturbate to both gay and straight porn depending on my mood, and since the idea of touching a cock (and maybe doing more) arouses me, I thought I'd go with "Bisensual".

But then I did a Google search on the word and was surprised at the primary results, and not only because I thought I had made up the word. According to most of the search results, bisensual means people who are emotionally or romantically (bot not sexually) attracted both men and women. Hello? Sensuality is physical enjoyment, the word itself is based on the root word "sense" which has little to do with emotions and relationships. The five senses enhance those things, not replace them entirely. So this definition is completely off the mark, in my opinion. The second definition in the results at Urban Dictionary make much more sense to me, though readers have not voted it "up" as much, probably because the definition is far too intellectual for the average moron.

I would argue that bisensuality has absolutely nothing to do with romance. Sensuality can be romantic, true, but we humans have five senses, and emotions isn't one of them! Frustrating that so many people can vote "up" on a definition that's so intellectually bankrupt.

New Pornos On The Way

Since my birthday is coming up, I decided to splurge and add a couple gay and bi DVD's to my collection. They shipped last Thursday and should be here any day now. My cock eagerly awaits the jerking it's going to get once they arrive. This is what I ordered:

9 Inch Males - I love to see a cock get pulled out of underwear and swing with heft.

Leather Half Off - Love leather, love gay porn. Enough said.

Secret Bisexual Stories - MMF threesomes, and anything goes. Where do I sign up?


UPDATE: They arrived and I'm enjoying the stimulation so far.

Ass Play Preparations

Yesterday when I was in the shower, after my normal genital shaving routine, I had an overwhelming urge to shave my asshole too.

So I lathered up good and stepped out of the shower, dripping wet, and went into my room. I laid down a towel on the floor and knelt facing away from the mirror. When I leaned over from kneeling and peered between my legs, I could see my entire ass. And I shaved my ass crack, asshole and perineum bare, and returned to the shower to rinse.

Later I rubbed in Vitamin E oil to soothe any razor burn, because it was a really close shave. Feeling my ass and balls so smooth got me horny so I knelt backwards back in front of the mirror and used the oil to massage my asshole and watch at the same time. Soon my pucker hole was relaxed and comfortable and I put in a fingertip, pulling gently, massaging while I stroked my cock. Within no time I came hard on the towel, and felt an urge to have more than just a fingertip in me.

After my self-inflicted massage, I logged on to Desert Pride, and gave in to my desires to train my ass to be fucked. I ordered two butt plugs and two dildos, small and mediums, and instantly got hard again at the excitement of having finally shed my inhibitions by ordering the ass-play items I have been craving.

I will keep updates coming as the items arrive and work their way into my masturbatory exploits.

Erotic Figure Drawing

I saw the ad in the back of our town’s alternative news. It said, “Figure Drawing for Adults. Experience Something New!” I’d taken figure drawing classes before, sometimes the model wore a body-suit, a swimsuit, or rarely nothing at all. This sounded a little different than what I was used to.

“For Adults?” I thought, as I called the number.

A very sweet sounding man answered the phone. He spoke in tender, lisped, feminine tones, and I could tell right away he was gay.

“We wanted to try a different approach to figure drawing, one that celebrates the human form in a more casual, open-minded kind of way.”

This was already sounding pretty interesting.

“We are encouraging all new participants to leave their inhibitions at the door. We will be drawing poses and… positions,” he said suggestively, “not typical of your average figure drawing class. We need to make sure that all new members are aware of and comfortable with the methods.”

“I’m not easily offended,” I offered, hoping to learn more.

“Well good, you may like what our class has to offer then.”

He told me the time and place, how much, how long it runs, and what to bring. “We also let those students that wish to pose do so as well, so bring a robe if you are so inclined.” That made my gut drop. The idea of disrobing and being visually inspected by a group had always seemed arousing to me, but the idea of getting a boner in front of a traditional art class killed that fantasy immediately. Would this really be different like he said?

The class was held in a private home, in a large game room with a draped chair on a large table, surrounded by easels. It was a large house in the fancy part of town, all decked out for a party with ours devours, champagne, and a stack of folded cards that said “TAKE ONE” on the front. Inside the card said, “You have been invited to a Spontaneous Erotic Figure Drawing Class. You may leave if Erotic Nudity doesn’t appeal to you.”

My cock let me know that we were definately going to stay by pressing up against my jeans in a sudden throb of excitement. This was going to be great, I smiled to myself.

Soon the class was underway, and the host stood up to welcome the group. He was a handsome and young-looking 45, in shape and well defined. I guess he was the first model. He had only a small towel wrapped around his waist, and acted comfortable and relaxed. It must have been his home.

"Hi everyone, welcome to Figure Drawing for Adults, I'm Daniel. It's nice to see some new faces, I hope you enjoy the session today." He let his towel drop, and my cock popped. I looked around the rrom to see if anyone else was enjoying this as much as me. The room was mostly men, a few women obviously there with their boyfriends, all my age and older. Except for one guy who acted ashamed at my glance toward him, everyone appeared calm and casual.

Daniel asked if ten minutes would be enough to start the first pose, everyone agreed, and he climbed up on the table, squatted, leaned back, and spread his legs. He was pointed directly at me, legs wide open, as if to welcome me with this delicious introduction. I thought he was looking directly at me, but for the full ten minutes his position and stare did not change, never responding to my smiles and obvious arousal.

He was circumcised, his cock held a meaty stance even soft and curved beautifully into his balls, all of which where perfectly shaved smooth and cropped by a tuft of trimmed hair above. As I focused on the detail of his cock in my drawing, I realized that I was fulfilling a long-time fantasy, and my heart was pounding as I struggled to keep control of my hand and ignore the bulging in my jeans. My cock roared to be let free, but I was still new, I wasn't sure what he meant by "some class members can pose."

After ten minutes an alarm he had set went off and he said, "on to another pose, ten minutes everyone?" And with that he flipped over, spread his legs, and pushed his package down and back. The pose was so fucking hot I could barely draw it. His ass was perfectly smooth, he had an awesome physique, the cutest little asshole, smooth perineum and a wonderful drape to his balls. It was a picture of Greek perfection, and my underwear was wet with the precum dribbling from my cock hole, my shaft thick with excitement, caged behind my zipper.

I looked around the room, and to my surprise, one of the men had unzipped his pants and his fully erect cock was poking through his zipper hole, nearly purple with blood, engorged and looking in absolute desperation of some immediate attention. Obviously he was enjoying this as much as me, if not more. I looked around and no one seemed bothered by his outward advance. He just continued to draw, ignoring his erection intently. I found it hard to keep my eyes off his amazing display, despite the task at hand and the unbelievably candid pose shown by our host, Daniel.

When the ten minutes was up, I was too horny to go on, so I excused myself to the bathroom, and immediately jerked off into the sink. My mind raced, was this just a wet dream? If it was, I didn't want it to end. How could a group of people have a meeting like this, drawing cock-blowingly sexy things like this, remaining totally cool and calm? How could they not all be fucking on the floor by now? "This is making me so horny," I thought, looking at myself in the bathroom mirror. One damn toss into the sink wasn't going to do it. But I felt so shy, I had never ever been in this type of situation, and I was having a hard time just giving in to the urgings of my cock to rip off my clothes and fuck, blow, suck, and get fucked by everyone in the room. Fuck the drawing, I thought, let's just all fuck like wild dogs already.

Three deep breaths and I steeled the composure to return to the room. When I got back, things were the same pretty much, the guy still had his cock stiffly protruding from his pants, and he saw me look at it again and smiled when our eyes met. I gave him a playful wink and without any delay my dick was hard again in my jeans, which as many guys know can be a restrictive, uncomfortable compressing feeling. Some hard dicks simply don't fit into underwear and jeans.

Daniel had taken on another pose, this time turned on his back, legs spread, clenching his manhood, which had now become erect. He was squeezing it hard to keep the blood in for the full ten minutes. My cock, in the meantime, was having no trouble keeping the blood in, and the pressure was too much anymore, and I looked over jealously at the guy whose cock was pulled out, and feeling the increasing pulse unzipped my own pants and pulled out my aching cock. It throbbed at the glory of being free, and I met eyes of approval from the other guy. Daniel said from his pose, "I see our new member is enjoying the session," and everyone laughed, including me. What a great release to be in a room so exposed and feel so accepted and embraced really. It was awesome.

After his pose, he told us that the first half of the session was over, and that there would be a group pose for the second half. Some of the couples left, and the rest stayed, including me. I was wondering if we would get to pose, I looked down at my cock and looked over to my other cock-bearing class member. He winked.

Daniel went back to an open easel, stayed nude, and two guys walked in who I hadn't seen before. They were both muscular and both hard as a rock. They got onto the table and assumed a gay bondage-shaving pose that engorged my cock even more. Now this was crazy. Here I was in a room of guys, one of them with their cock out, one nude, and two guys posing on the table. "Where has this type of figure drawing class been all my life?" I said to my neighbor, the guy with his cock out too.

"Where have YOU been?" he teased.

That sent me into orbit. I frantically finished my drawing, eagerly watching the clock for the end of the session. Daniel had given them 20 minutes for this pose, and my cock was dripping with juice. The timer rang, and at that moment the other guy walked over to me, knelt in front of me and gave me a blow job right there while I watched the models kiss and fondle each others dicks. I came in a flood down his throat, zipped up, and Daniel said, "I trust we'll be seeing you for next week's session?"

Gotta Go Gay To Get Off

A few months ago I was whacking off to hard core teens, and I simply could not get off. At the time my longing and loneliness for women seemed particularly strong, and I realized the residual pain was affecting my libido. I switched to naked men and cock closeups, and came to orgasm quickly. It occurred to me that because no man has broken my heart, it seems easier to get off on men sometimes.

I don't know if my interest in men purely sexual, I haven't had enough experience with them to know. And the notion that only women can break my heart is preposterous. I'm sure once I start seeing men they will hurt me just as much as women, but it hasn't happened yet. It's kind of nice, I'm living a gay-virgin innocence. It makes the idea of a gay encounter as exciting as my first sexual encounters in my late teens.

Because my heart is not involved in gay fantasies, men end up being more attractive than women. Jerking off to pictures of hot guys doesn't leave me feeling inadequate, thinking, "I could never get that," because guys I actually have a chance at getting. They have a more casual view of sex than most women. So for now, my sexual fantasies of men are pure and innocent, and haven't been spoiled by reality.

Forced Objectification

I was thinking more about misogyny and yesterday's post, and decided I had more to say to get my mind around this.

My bad luck with women has led to a total loss of faith in the female species. I keep telling myself that I can't blame all women for the heartache and pain cause by those in the past, and that I need to move on. But the problem is that my relationships with women have only gotten more fake, contrived, and more difficult to understand. Things have not gotten better as I've gotten older, which is contrary to my life philosophy. Life is supposed to improve. Relationships are supposed to grow from one to the next, only that hasn't been the case.

Seven years ago my heart was utterly destroyed by a woman whom I was madly in love with. Her callous, casual way of breaking it off really devalued what we had had together, from my perspective. She did not honor or respect our connection, and the pain from the way she left me has remained unhealed. After seven fucking years, I am still a shell of a man.

Since then I have been unable to secure so much as a second date, let alone have a deep and meaningful relationship to help steer me away from the despair that she left me in. Something to help restore my self confidence, and perhaps most importantly, restore my faith in women. Because from where I'm standing, looking back on this road I have traveled, it would be hard for me to believe any of them had a heart. And that leaves me in this ridiculous state of self-pity, desperately hoping some fantastic woman who truly cares about me will somehow come along, someone who will rescue me like on e-fucking-Harmony. But that is a pipe dream that I cannot continue.

So they see the bitterness and hatred, they see that I am jaded, and they must think, "ahh, no pussy for him." Then they might think to themselves that I objectify women once they see how desperate I am. And women do have this sixth sense for desperation, like dogs can smell fear, and as soon as she notices you staring at her cleavage, or catching a glimpse of other women in the room, she might call you a womanizer, a pig, or a jerk... or maybe she'll slap you, dump her drink over your head. Why not humiliate you? After all, it is her right.

Now this is where my misogynistic feelings really start to boil, when I realize that women objectify themselves, but then demonize men for reacting to it naturally. It is such a double edged sword, yet some men have learned to play the game masterfully. They get pussy by not acting like they want it. They get her to think getting laid was her idea. It's amazing. Only thing is I'm not that guy. That's too dishonest for me, too much of a charade. So instead I end up glancing too much, too often, or too long, at whatever irresistibly sexy part she's got out for display, and then I get placed squarely into the NO PUSSY ZONE.

It's like they're fishing without a hook. They'll tease me with the bait, but they don't really want to catch me. So I get no action once again, go to the strip club and then home to porn surf... and hey guess what, all I'm getting out of the deal is OBJECTS. Is there any question why women are objectified?

Pendulum Away From the Pedestal

Since I've been writing this blog, I've been more clued in to my sex drive on a daily basis. Writing about sexy things every day has got me feeling horny most of the time. My posts are often spontaneous, but when I'm writing my stories, I usually take a few days to play out the scenarios in my head, and decide how I want the story to go. During this time I am constantly thinking about sexual fantasies and flirtatious situations.

I like to have photos accompany my short stories, so I'll do a lot of porn surfing looking for the right pic. Several times I have found something different than what I was looking for, but something so hot that I have to grab hold of my cock and jerk off right there. This constant stimulation can add days to when a story I'm writing actually gets published, as I keep getting distracted with all the porn surfing and wanking.

My libido has been swinging from straight to gay lately, leaving not much else in between. The other week when I was writing about ex-girlfriends and the pleasures of pussy, my sex drive was focused on women, all my porn surfing dedicated to jerking off to pictures of hot, young, naked women.

Last week, though, I have felt scantly the urge to stroke my love muscle to pictures of women. I've only been surfing for pictures of big beautiful cocks, cute fuckable guys, pert shaved little assholes, muscular asses, shoulders, hips and thighs. My dreams have been consumed with a lust for cock. Pussy has barely even crossed my mind.

I'm generally a shy person, and I think that's what keeps me from going out and trying to hook up. Although I have only thus far fantasized about gay sex, somehow it doesn't seem like it would be that hard to get. Guys love to fuck. I'm sure women do too, but our society has this crazy prude/slut dilemma in which women use the prospect of sex for manipulation. My impression is that most women don't really like sex on a fundamental level, but they know men do, so they use it as a tool to manipulate men into doing what they want. They use pussy as leverage to control them.

Whereas between two men, they know the whole point is to get laid, there's no misunderstanding there. And they haven't had all this Cinderella, glass slipper, Knight in Shining Armor bullshit driven down their throats their whole life. They haven't been tricked by this damsel in distress imagery that makes American women think their cunts are the holy grail, a secret treasure only to be deployed when she thinks he might be her Prince Charming, a lure to get that ring on her finger. Then the majority of men who commit to traditional marriage have put the pussy on a pedestal, and rarely ever get to see it again. Countless married men have proven this theory.

Now, I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule, and sexual dynamics are greater than my atrophied perspective. I imagine much of my impetus for the development of this theory has been my overall difficulty in assuming the roles required of men to "get laid" by American women [Side note: American women are mostly prude in their home country, though I have heard they cut loose overseas]. The behavior publicly displayed by men to try to get in some chick's pants is nothing short of comical.

I'm looking forward to testing my theory at the gay bar. It's not a matter of not having the opportunity, it's a matter of going outside of my comfort range to allow the prospect to arise. But once I'm there, I have a feeling that talking to guys and hooking up will feel more natural and not as contrived as in the hetero world. Women demand a mind-boggling array of flips, jumps, hoops, performance tests, shell games, mystery and silent innuendo to get into their pants. Men will take yours off for you.

Homo Erotic Massage

When I was in high school, I used to raid my dad's Playboys and Penthouses. The Penthouse magazines were more dirty so of course I always leaned more toward them. One had a story about a married man who had gotten a professional massage from his wife as a gift for their anniversary. The masseuse was a man, and in the story the guy got an erection during the massage, and the masseuse jerked him off and made him come, then quietly finished up the massage.



That story was so exciting because at that time I was completely in the closet to myself, so I was surprised to be turned on by it. Since then I have always wanted to get a massage from some hot guy and when I get hard he strokes me off, just like in the story.



I have only ever gotten professional massages from women, for fear of my cock reacting to this fantasy. It's against professional ethics to massage private parts, and I've only ever paid for a massage from a licensed massage therapist. I've never been to a massage parlor or erotic massage type place, just offices and spas.

Anyway, I'd love to get an erotic massage from some beautiful guy someday, like in the story I read as a teenager, and get stroked by some hunky sexy naked guy. It would be even more exciting if he got hard too, because then I'd know that he was turned on by massaging me and it would get me even harder. It would be great to have a handjob last as long as a paid massage, say, half an hour?

I recently bought a bottle of Astroglide. It's really slippery and lasts a long long time. I've been jerking off with it every once in a while, trying not to overuse it. I've wanted to save it for when I get some beginner anal toys, it's great for anal, I've been told.

Male Multiple Orgasm

This guy cums a fucking truckload three times, I don't know if I've ever seen anyone cum this much or so many times. How does he do it?



I've cum more than once, but had to get my dick soft and hard again before I could. WTF? Is this guy a freak of nature or has anyone ever seen anything like this before?

Camping Circle Jerk

I went camping with a friend, just to get out of town. We took my four wheel drive truck deep into the mountains and found a remote spot in a grassy mountain meadow to set up camp. We like to party, and by mid afternoon we were a few beers into the conversation, starting to feel a little buzzed.

He started complaining about the women in our town, that they were so hard to approach and if they weren't already taken, they were friggin crazy. I had had similar bad experiences and failures with women in town, so I took a chance. "I know, when the chicks around here are so hard to connect with, I just go after the guys."

He gave me a stunned look and for a second I was worried that I crossed a line, that maybe I offended him. But instead his face flushed beet red with embarrassment. Flustered, he stammered out, "H-have you ever been? ...with a guy?"

"Not really, but I always wanted to kind of check it out." I told the truth.

"Yeah, the more I strike out with women, the more I want to see what it's like to be with a guy, ya know?"

"Yeah, man I do know..." I said, nervous with the segue and the opportunity. "... um, can I see your cock?"

"Never heard a chick say that!" We laughed and he bashfully said, "I dunno... you go first."

I've always been an exhibitionist at heart, so my cock jumped at the chance. I stood up, unbuttoned my shorts, and pulled out my manhood. I was already starting to get hard. It was a nice day so I just took off my shorts and underwear and laid down in the grass. "I prefer to be naked anyway, and my dick likes it too." My hardening tip glistened in the sunlight, my cock vein pulsed with exposure. "Your turn, dude." I winked.

He gave me a look of hesitation, but my smiling nod must have settled his unease, and he took all his clothes off right there standing in front of me. My cock lunged and hardened to granite.

He sat down next to me totally naked. I took off my shirt and we jerked off right there in the beautiful tall grass and sun, both totally naked. With the breeze and sky and the sound of him beating off, watching every stroke, the excitement had literally come to a head and a cannonball of cum came blasting out of my cock and splashed on my chest. I unloaded my orgasm in seven spurts of juicy cum that ran down my abs in streams. He wasn't far behind and took his eyes off my cumming dick, focused intently on his own, beating himself rapidly now. I reached out and cupped his balls and he was instantly sent into a violent burst of release, he moaned and cum bubbled up to his tip and danced out onto his chest in glorious bursts.

When he was drained he looked up at me, and I bashfully looked away half embarrassed, and he said, "chicks got nothing on that."

Stud At Play

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Beautiful Cumshots

Cum. What a beautiful thing! Gorgeous gobs of hot man milk pumping up from swollen balls, pulsing a fountain from serpentine cock heads. Thrust, spurt, unload flowing streams of steamy juice, splashing and sticky. Dripping hot rivers that puddle and pool on skin. A thunderous eruption of intense ecstasy, waves of pleasure and passion, draining satisfaction from my balls. I love to cum!

The Allure of Gay Porn

Some straight porn has reacted to criticisms that it’s too phalli-centric, becoming more focused on female arousal, and less about the cock and the all mighty money shot. While I commend the porn industry for catering to more vanilla-sex heterosexual and mainstream couples, I also mourn the loss of some good old cock centered porn.

That's what rules about gay porn: it's all about the cock. Usually with a quick, cursory overview of the rest of the body, and then the camera zeros in on the phallus. Then the cock worship begins. Big beautiful throbbing thick juicy cock. The wonderful fuck machine, cum spurt volcano python god.

Men in orgasm tend to be focused on their cocks, at least in masturbation and porn, where seeing the spurts of cum are as much of the experience as the euphoric feelings. Soon the visual aspect of the ejaculate can become inexorably attached to the orgasm experience itself. While women's sexuality is generally a full-body arousal, a man's sexuality focuses on his cock.

Gay porn satisfies the male urge to have the phallus worshiped. Men sucking and fucking, jerking off on each other, mixing cum on flawless abs. Men have cocks and therefore understand the organ better than most women. To their credit, there are some truly talented cock-worshiping women out there, and the best female lovers I have ever had have understood this cock-centric principle.

I do hope my first gay encounter is with a talented cock sucker. The last five or ten women I've been with have had limited, timid cock sucking skills. Good cock suckers seem so rare in the heterosexual world, I kind of have high expectations for my first gay lover. He better suck a mean cock, have amazing deep throat skills, or I might as well be with a woman.

Huge Cum Loads: A How To

We've all seen the videos, from porn stars to amateur masturbators, dudes who just unload streams of beautiful hot juicy cum all over the place. How do they do it?! Most of the time when I cum it's a few disappointing spurts, a couple dribbles onto my stomach, or even a dud (drygasm), no cum at all. What the hell?

The first time I clued into what makes my loads bigger, I was videographing for my Cockumentary and setting up the scene for my cum shot. I had done several takes of the scene leading up to the climax, and had been hard and soft a few times already, as the scene called for my cock to grow from soft to hard in one sequence. The anticipation and building up to the final scene had me really horny, and when I finally came it gushed like a fountain, huge loads of cum splashing my chest and neck, one after the other. Suddenly I felt like Peter North!

Another thing that clued me in was a temporary lover I once had. She was giving me a handjob one day, during one of our mutual masturbation sessions, and I had been building up with anticipation again, getting hard and soft for a few hours, while we explored each other, before finally reaching release. My spurts of cum shot all over, and she looked surprised and a little annoyed, as the cum kept flowing, getting it on her fingers and in her hair.

Sensing her discomfort, I apologized to her for making a mess, and she said, "no it's okay - you at least drink enough water so your cum is nice. A lot of guys don't and their cum is like gobs of Jello. I think that's gross."

Hmm, interesting. I had seen those Jello cum globs in porn and on the Net, and just figured everyone's different. Now here was an experienced chick with a viable explanation! And she was clued into the details of the dick - very nice. Most chicks I had been with treated my cock like a mysterious and dangerous weapon, their understanding and compassion for it as contrived and strained as their feigned interest in football or engine repair. She was different. She knew she could get more by giving more.

So now whenever I want to unload huge pools of cum, whether for one of my videos, self-gratification, or impressing a new lover, I drink water all day. When I get excited, I let my balls swell up with cum, then let my erection subside, then make sure to get hard again within half an hour. Keep this up for a few hours, and when I'm finally on the edge, ready to cum, my cock spurts out massive loads of hot, wet, cum into my neck and shoulders, sometimes on my face, and even in my mouth. My orgasm is so much more intense, both with the heightened feeling, and the arousing sight of so much cum erupting from my cock.

Here's a few links to some of my favorite cumshot videos on YouPorn. Sorry about the links, I haven't figured out how to embed video on this blog yet.



Okay I figured out how to do the video thing in a post. See Solo Fellatio for another one of my favorites.

Attention Surplus Disorder

Since I started coming out on this blog and revealing my secret sexual thoughts and revelations, my sex drive has felt like a Ferrari with the throttle stuck open.

I’ve jerked off no less that three times a day since I started this blog, sometimes as much as five times a day. The skin on my cock has started to get calloused! And even has been rubbed raw on more than one occasion. The problem with sex blogs is that you get all aroused thinking, writing about, and expressing sexual thoughts all day.

Soon my libido will have to take a rest. Dicks are meant to plunge into warm, moist, tight holes, with the help of some form of lubrication. Rough, dry, palms and fingers are a last resort. But as the sexual tension builds while I discuss my own taboos, the constant bulging and shrinking cycles in my shorts have got my balls swelled up as big as goose eggs!

I am in need of service with a happy ending like a fish needs water. Anyone care to help?

Solo Porno

I love to film myself masturbating. I have over 6 hours of tape, much of which I have compiled into digital videos. None have ever been published online, and only a select few friends have seen them… only a few that I know of.

The first time I video taped myself masturbating, I was house sitting some rich friends. They were away for a week, and there I was alone in this beautiful house, and they had a high-end Sony camera that at the time was about the best you could get. The thrill of unzipping my pants and exposing myself to the camera for the first time was like a super heroin sex drug. My heart pounded, my brow sweat, my cock throbbed. Suddenly I could be a exhibitionist and a voyeur at the same time. The feeling was euphoric.

I bought my first video camera specifically for filming my cock. Everything from stripping, to shaving, to cock rings, to masturbating, to self-sucking, to cock bondage, self-inflicted perversions, and eventually making a documentary movie about it all. A video masturbatorium! It is still in process, and I plan to release it here on this blog as soon as I can.

Guilty Pleasures

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